Chains

Chapter 37

Disbelief. Numbness. Isolation. My grief came in three familiar stages that I fought hard to avoid, but alas, it took little to no time for me to plunge into the depths of depression. 

It was hard to believe that the child I carried for 9 months was so easily taken from within the span of a few minutes.It was hard to believe that I wouldn't even get to hear her first word or see her take her first steps. She didn't deserve this.

As the pain seeped into my body I gradually became numb. Numb to all the 'I'm sorries' , the 'i don't know what to says' and especially the 'I know how you feels'. Numb to all the people who claimed to sympathize with me despite never being in such a situation.

After the millionth 'I'm sorry' that I received, I was engulfed into a bubble of isolation. I seldom talked to anyone which worried them even more but there was something about being alone that appealed to me during these times. Just me and my thoughts. But there were times when my solidarity evoked feelings which were too much for me to cope with alone.

Luckily, I found my escape in helping Shakira to prepare for her wedding. 

"I think we can cross this place off the list of possible venues, right Lou?"

I eyed the antique setting before which I had instantly disliked( for the occasion) as soon as we arrived.

"Heck yes" I said, relieved that Shakira hadn't taken a liking to rustic,au naturel estate or should I say animal sanctuary.

"Why exactly am I here again?" We turned around to see a sweating Zayn, who we blatantly forgot was with us.

"To carry me" I said, jumping on his back without warning him. He muttered a few curse words while trying to regain his balance.

"You're lucky I like you" he said, holding my legs to secure me. I could tell that he rolled his eyes beneath his shades as it was his signature reaction to every situation.

We visited three more possible venues but none were up to our standards.We eventually settled on a junkfood lunch break. 

As we ate our burgers in a comfortable silence, my phone rang revealing Maluma's caller ID.

This was new. The last time I saw or even spoke to him was the day our child died, almost three months ago. My heart raced as I wondered if I should answer his call or not. By the time I had decided to answer it, the call had ended, causing a loud sigh to escape my lips.

I thought about calling him back,but I gladly didn't have to as he tried calling me again. I answered quickly this time, curious to hear what he was going to say after not speaking to me for months.

"Louisa,I'm gonna need you to come get your stuff".

Wait what. That's what he called me to say. After three months he called me to tell me to come get my stuff. After three months of not even expressing how he felt about the whole baby situation,he told me that. It was true that some of my belongings were still in his house from when I moved in but I didn't expect this to be the first ting he said to me.

I replied with a simple, "Okay" before ending the call without waiting to see if he had anything else to say. I threw the phone down on the table,letting out a small groan.

"What did that phone ever do to you?" Zayn questioned, as he reached for a handful of fries.

I shot him a look to which he threw his hands up in defense. 

"Well damn, who pissed in your soda?" I rolled my eyes at him before sighing. Before I could reply,Maluma's caller ID flashed on my screen again which caught Zayn and Shakira's eye.

"Ah,your mood swing is understandable. What did the little shit do now?" he asked after watching me ignore the call.

"He told me to come get my stuff" I said,taking another bite out of my burger.

Shakira and Zayn exchanged glances.

"Thats it?" Shakira questioned,"After all this time this is what he says to you" 

I nodded my head which caused Shakira to kiss her teeth.

"I'm done with him. After not being there for you when you needed it the most, after lying to you about his affair, this is all he has to say!" she said, signaling that she reached her tolerance limit.

"And you already know how I feel about that asshole" Zayn chimed in,gulping down his grape soda.

I sighed loudly as his name flashed across the screen again. I reluctantly answered the call much to Shakira and Zayn's dismay.

"What?" I asked plainly. He released a soft sigh.

"I didn't mean it like that,Lou. I just wanted a chance to see you. I thought that would've been the only way I could see you after what I've done"

I rolled my eyes at his excuse and contemplated hanging upon him again.

"Lou?" he questioned after being greeted with silence.

"I have to go" I said quickly, ending the conversation.

Shakira and Zayn stared at me intently, waiting for the details which they would never receive. As I was about to tell them what he said, we heard an unfamiliar voice calling Shakira's name.

"Omg,Shakira! I'm such a big fan of your work."

We looked up to see a now familiar brunette.One that I had come to resent these past few  months. One that was the source of the drama in my life at the moment.

Anitta.