Boyfight

"Healing"

            For five days straight, it felt like I was just going to sleep and waking up without noticing anything in between. Whenever I thought about the relationship I had—or thought I had—with Naomi, I got so sick that I nearly threw up. Even though she'd hurt me, I missed her. I missed everything about her from the sound of her voice to the way her skin felt after a bath. One morning I woke up looking for her in my apartment because I had this dream that we'd worked it all out and had gotten back together. I hadn't cried since I was a little boy and for those five days after I dumped her, I cried almost every time I was alone. Still, I did what I had to do to get through each day. No matter how much it hurt, something inside me kept going.

            "Are you gonna tell me what happened to you, boy?" Leo asked me while I was cleaning some gym equipment. "It's been damn near a week and you ain't said a word. Who whooped your ass?"

            "Nobody whooped my ass," I told him. "You should see the other nigga."

            "Khalil, you know I can find out in the streets. All I need to do is call up..."

            "I got hit in the face with a brick behind some shit Naomi got me caught up in. There, I told you. Now can you let it go?"

            "Now what did I tell you about getting into some dumb shit following behind some girl? Boy, I swear..."

            "Leo, it's over. I kicked the bitch to the curb. I'm done with her."

            "So, who hit you with the brick?"

            "Some lame ass nigga Naomi was cheatin' on me with. I fucked him up and when I stepped back outside, he laid me out with a brick."

            "Did you go to the hospital."

            "Nah."

            "Then how the hell did you get stitches? Who bandaged your knuckles?"

            "A friend."

            "A friend?" He laughed and shook his head before saying, "Boy, I swear you're gonna learn one of these days. Stay out of trouble. If a woman brings you trouble, just walk away from her and move on."

            "I wish it was that easy."

            "What do you mean?"

            "Leo, I loved that girl. Hell, I still do. I just...I could never forgive her for somethin' like that. And now I feel so fuckin' stupid. I should've never put so much into the relationship. I should've fucked around with other bitches. All the missed opportunities and other shit I missed out on is what really pisses me the fuck off. I wasted two years with that bitch. I can't get them two years back." I threw the towel I was wiping the equipment down with and leaned against a wall.

            Leo stepped over to me and said, "Son, listen to me and listen to me good. You didn't waste shit because up until the end, you loved that girl and you enjoyed spending time with her. It's not your fault that she turned out to be less than what you deserve. That's on her. All you need to focus on is getting your shit together and making sure you're ready for the next girl to come into your life. In the meantime, you keep helping out around here and doing what you gotta do to pay your bills and feed yourself. Moping around and feeling sorry for yourself means she wins. Moving on and walking with your head up means you win. Remember that."

            I finally relaxed and told him, "Thanks. I guess I needed to hear some advice from you, Leo." I checked the time on my phone. "Hey, I gotta get outta here. I'm supposed to be meetin' up with Malik and Shawn before my shift tonight."