Change me - A Yung Lean Fanfiction

Chapter 26- Pancakes.

I quietly knocked on Jonatans door and it slowly opened. Jonatan looked at my clothes and then back to my face "what happened?" he said quietly and I didn't answer, I didn't feel ready to talk not yet. I just shook my head and he hugged me "You need a shower?" he said and I nodded, he moved aside and let me in.

I walked in and saw Sav asleep on Jonatans bed, curled up on the bottom of the bed was a young girl with blonde curly hair she was also sleeping. Jonatan and I both walked into the bathroom and I looked into the mirror, I saw my body in full and I finally saw all of the blood, blood on my shirt, on my hands, under my nails...I turned to Jonatan and said "it's Benjamin's" and he nodded "I thought so, is he ok?" I nodded "He is now he lost a lot of blood he's gone to bed now Sherman took him" 

We stayed quiet for a while just looking at ourselves through the mirror, soon enough I heard Sav's voice through the door "Ally can I come in?" "Yeah" I said and I sat on the counter where the sink was, she opened the door "fuck" she said "you ok?" I nodded "I'm fine you coming to my room now?" I said and she nodded. She walked over to Jonatan and gave him a hug "see you later" she said and started to walk out and I started to follow, Jonatan grabbed my arm "Will you be ok?" he said and I nodded "You still need to talk to me" he said, I got closer to him and hugged him I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered into his ear "I know, just not yet" I kissed his cheek and let go, I followed Sav out and didn't look back. 

As soon as we left she started asking questions and I ignored them all I didn't speak until we got to the door "don't say anything to him ok?" and she nodded. We walked in and blood was still on the floor the bed sheets that had blood on where moved off Benjamins bed and he was lied on the mattress, Sherman was sat cross legged at the top of the bed with Benjamins head resting on his legs, Sherman was running his fingers through Benjamins hair.

"Hey" I said and Sherman smiled "Sav this is Sherman and Benjamin" I said and she walked over as excited as ever to meet new people she brought Sherman into a hug and he looked extremely uncomfortable which made me laugh before she could even look at Benjamin Sherman said "just let him sleep" and she nodded. 

The first thing i did was fill the sink up with hot soapy water and put my shirt in to soak, I got a cloth and soaked it in the water, I walked back into the room in just my bra and jogger pants and I started to scrub the carpet. I wasn't going to let the blood stay soaked into the carpet, I didn't want to be reminded of this.

It was around 9pm when I stopped scrubbing, I scrubbed the floor for 2 hours straight until no blood remained "We should get something to eat" I heard Benjamin say, I looked around Sherman and Sav had both fallen asleep "Ok" I said and Benjamin threw me one of his shirts. 

I put it on grabbed my phone and left, Benjamin had a black shirt on and some baggy pants that looked old and he brought his bag on his back. Neither of us wore shoes I was hoping we wouldn't be going far. 

It was going dark outside and it was cold, nobody was around on the school grounds, it looked like it could be from a horror film, the dark woods, the empty streets. Benjamin pulled a joint out of his bag and lit it, I watched as he smoked "You want some?" he said and I didn't answer "don't worry i'll look after you" he said and laughed a little. I took the joint off him, well here goes nothing...

Nothing really felt different I just felt calm, nothing really mattered other than being here with Benjamin. Before I knew it we where at some cafe and had ordered pancakes. We ate and laughed and didn't care about shit other than what was happening in the moment and I felt happy, truly happy.

"We should get back" I said "what time is it?" Benjamin said I checked my phone "erm 1am" I said and he laughed "fuck, come on lets go"...