Morgan Rielly Imagine

Morgan Rielly - Part Ten

When I close my front door behind me I can't help but lean back against it. My head hits the wooden frame with a soft thud and I close my eyes.

It was nearly two in the morning already and I had walked over to Morgan's at six.

And I hadn't even wanted to leave.

The smell of his apartment lingers on my clothing and when I shrug off my oversized sweatshirt in my bedroom, I get another whiff of him. Conflicting emotions run through my mind and body. I yearn to be back across the hall, to be laughing and talking with Mo. We had put in a movie after the Scrabble duel and I couldn't even tell you what the movie was. And neither of us even realized when the T.V. timer had turned the screen off after enough inactivity. We had been talking too deep in conversation.

I had been on one side of the couch, my legs sprawled out to where Morgan sat on the other end of the couch, facing me with his feet even with my hips. And when I had gotten cold, a blanket had been tossed over the both of us.

A friendship that I had never expected blossomed and I found myself at some points not even listening to the words coming out of his mouth, as I had been too transfixed on that very thing. There were friendship aspects that I liked, and then there were the subtle touches and nudges that seemed innocent enough on both our parts. There had been lingering gazes and distracted motions. There were things that I wanted more of.

But then my phone had vibrated at quarter to two, something that neither of our phones had done all evening. The message had been from my boyfriend currently residing in Pittsburgh.

Haven't heard from you all night. Hope you got my flowers. Love you and goodnight.

The guilt that fell hard and heavy over me was enough to make me decide to go home.

Morgan had begrudgingly let me, though his hand had lingered on my shoulder, just barely brushing the bare skin exposed by my high pony tail and goosebumps had erupted all over my skin. A feat that we both pretended not to notice.

I hesitate as I pull off my t-shirt as well, staring at the worn Pittsburgh Steelers jersey that I had slept in nearly every night since Nick got drafted nearly two years ago. His goodbye present to me when he left my last semester of college in Colorado to move to Pittsburgh. Repressing a sigh and a tinge of guilt, I pull on the jersey, its familiar material caressing me as I slid into bed.

-

I wanted to wait for Morgan in the morning.

I so badly wanted to drive to the arena with him, relive last night and our shared laughs and jokes. But my morning talk with Nick had ruined that. He had been so happy and sounded so genuine when I told him my plans for the day. It had made me nearly nauseous with guilt even though I hadn't done anything. But I had thought about something.

My dream had been vivid. And it had been a dream that I hadn't wanted to wake up from. One of the downsides of a long distance marriage; physical touch. You learn how to use your imagination and how to use it well and sometimes your daydreams become nighttime dreams. However last night, instead of dark, bronze skin humming against mine, it was pale skin that made me shiver. Instead of dark eyes looking down at me, my eyes had met blue ones and instead of my fingers tangling in shaggy black hair, they tugged at short blonde strands.

I awoke sweaty and flustered to my alarm blaring on my nightstand and when I had looked in the mirror, pink cheeks and bright eyes had stared back.