A Dumb Transboy's Book of Poems

Burns and Bruises

Old friends,
Talking together without me,
Is it bad that I wish people can't dream,
When I'm not able to sleep?
Or is it normal,
To miss the people that hate you,
The ones that abused you,
Refused to elate you.

Am I in the wrong,
When I wish myself back,
In the place I hate most,
In a place much like a shack,
I miss everything,
But not the yelling or the tears,
Not the fighting and the beers,
Not the words that did sear,
The place is so clear.

From a horror movie I'm born,
A place where pictures are taken,
Then torn,
Where my mind has been worn,
Where the people are evil,
And everyday's a new storm.

It's just more familiar,
But ugly and wrong,
I remember the pain,
But that pain is now gone,
Tried adding it myself,
But it never feels the same,
Why must I ever,
Want to be back in that place?

And the burns and the bruises,
They did so scar,
I hear you live in a bar,
Sold both your cars,
To drink and set fire,
To the life that once was ours.

You ruined us all,
In the best of ways,
Made me stronger I know,
I can't help but miss those days,
Opportunities I missed,
Witnessing my first hit,
Hit and a list,
A list of chores,
Do them quick and you'll be ignored.

Slamming,
Crying,
Screaming,
Yelling,
It's the norm,
But why when I wish to be back,
Don't​ I know it's a brand new storm?
The things I feel,
I think they're real,
But how can I know,
When we now have a deal.

"You'll never see him again.",
That's what you swore,
And that ring you wore,
You gave it back once more,
Gold and sparkling,
Passed down wife by wife,
There were four and you were the last,
Hopefully for the rest of his life.

Faked a suicide,
Pretended to fire,
But when that bullet hit,
All it hit was your tires,
And the ringing in my ear,
I thought he was gone,
Maybe I wished it,
Have I wished it all along?