My Life As A Merry Man (Sequel to The Huntress)

Chapter 19

Stepping into my room, I shut the door securely behind me and shut my eyes tightly - sliding down the length of the door. I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head heavily on them. What just happened out there? Why had I just stared into Allan's eyes like some poor, lovestruck, sapling of a person out there?  

It's not like I can have any feelings for this man. I mean, my husband only just died...how long ago was that?  

I pause to do the math in my head. I've been at the Sheriff's for at least a month now...and with Robin and the men at the camp for - was it really three months? Could the horrible last battle for Camelot really have already been almost four months ago? Is it possible I've been here that long? I can't be - but it is.  

Closing my eyes, I try to remember why I'd been trying to figure all this out in the first place. Right, that moment outside with Allan! It doesn't make sense - I know it shouldn't be happening - but Allan has given me reason again. A art of me is always anxiously awaiting our visits. It's like he's given me someone to fight for again. And those eyes...I'd once thought Gawain's were the most mesmerizing eyes I've ever seen - but, for some reason, they can't seem to compare to Allan's. I don't understand what's happening to me. 

"Kierlan." Luke says, trying to push the door open. 

"Hold on!" I yell, scrambling to get to my feet and open the door.  

"You okay?" he asks, checking me as Allan had. "Allan found me and told me what happened. Please tell me you're alright?"  

I can see the pleading in his concerned eyes and smile at him. "I'm okay...you of all people should know a broken nose couldn't hold me back for long." 

"That idiot broke your nose!" he bellows and turns swiftly to run out the door. 

"No!" I yell, latching onto his arm and pulling him back inside - shoving him far into the room and locking the door behind me. "It's fine! I reset it before Allan saw it and the guy is no longer a problem." 

He watches me carefully for a moment. "You didn't...?" 

"No," I shake my head, "Allan took care of him before I got the chance. I guess I kind of owe him my life now." 

He chuckles a little under his breath. "I'm sure he'll find a way to get you to repay him. Anyway, how did your nose heal so fast?" 

I raise an eyebrow and he gives me an even more confused look. "Really? You of all people have to ask that question?" 

"What do you mean?" he asks innocently. 

"Luke," I sigh, "I'm a supernatural being. With the perks of turning into a wolf I also heal quickly...along with a few other things." 

"Like what kind of things?" he asks enthusiastically. 

I shake my head at his sudden mood change - wow, he's easily distracted.  

"Come on! You can't just say something like that and not let me know what your secrets are." he whines. 

"You know it's very unattractive to see a man beg like that." I say in mock-seriousness.  

His face falls a little. "But...you..." 

"Fine!" I say, smiling at his puppy eyes shinning up at me. "It seems I've also inherited some sorcery. I don't know who from, but I can use magic - but not much!" 

"Really?! Like what?" he asks, raising onto his knees.  

"Well...other than the whole changing-into-a-wolf thing, I can move things with just a thought, things tend to explode if I don't keep my anger in check, I can stop time...sometimes, and a few basic things. It's really not that impressive...and not nearly as much as Merlin could do." I mutter, my eyes widening a little as I think of all that boy can...could do. 

"Oooh, who's Merlin?" Luke asks, watching me closely. 

"He's my best friend - well, he was. Before." I say, tears pooling in my eyes as I start to wonder what exactly happened to him. 

"Shoot, Kierlan! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I can be such an idiot sometimes! Will tells me all the time that I need to learn to think before I ask random questions." he says, taking hold of my hands and giving me the saddest eyes I've ever seen. 

I pull one hand away from him and he hangs his head in shame. I quickly wipe my tears away and take a deep breath. "No, it's fine. As they say, the first step to recovery is acceptance..." 

"Who cares about that, I shouldn't..." I cover his mouth with my free hand and wait for him to stop muttering into my palm. 

"No, I need to do this. I need to accept that my old life is gone and this is my future - to be here to help you guys, stop that awful Sheriff, and maybe even become friends with that crazy Skylar." We both chuckle a little at that last one. "I need to accept the fact that my husband - bless his soul - is dead. That even though I'll never get to hear his constant chatter about meaningless things he's still with me. Just in my heart. I need to accept that I'll never know exactly what happened to Merlin, Arthur, Percival, Leon, and Gwen. Because, if I don't let them go, I'll never be able to actually live. I will always be looking behind my back for them. And, even though they were the only family I had left, I know I now have you and Will and Robin and Allan and the others. You're my family now." 

He stares at me quietly for a few moments. "You know...those were some very wise words. Honestly, I don't know how you handled everything the way you have - but I'm proud to have known you as long as I have." 

"Thanks." I sniff, rubbing my neck - a little embarrassed to be honest. 

"Kierlan...I have something I need to tell you." he says slowly, looking at the floor. 

"What's wrong?" I ask, latching onto his hands and looking for signs that he's not well. 

"Oh no, it's not me! Or the others. It's just...my father's ill again and Will can't exactly leave to go help him - because of the fact he's an outlaw and will be shot on sight. It's just...I'm going to have to leave. I don't want to leave you here - I feel like you're my best friend now. It actually kinda hurts to leave you. I wanted to be here to help you face your past and see just how strong you can be here." He says and I can see just how much he means it in those honest, sincere eyes of his. 

"Luke...your father needs you. And we'll see each other again very soon. I promise." I say, a little sad - but I know deep down that he needs to do this. If not for his father, but himself.  

"You sure you can handle all this?" he asks. 

"Positive. Besides, wasn't it you that said I was strong and could handle anything?" I raise a mocking eyebrow. 

He shoves my arm playfully. "Now you get all full of yourself. I'm never giving you a pep-talk ever again." 

I make a face. "Well, that's not very nice now is it?" 

"Eh, who cares anymore?" he jokes. "But seriously, I want to know more about this Merlin person!" 

I laugh again at his eagerness.

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Sooooooooooo......what do ya think? Do you like the story so far? Or are you starting to loose interest? Hey, don't fear or fret or whatever - because things are about to get even more intense! Yay, intensity! 

Remember, just when you think things are getting better...a new twist pops up. Mwahahahahaha!

Okay, sorry for the creepy bit, but I promise things are about to throw you for a loop as time goes on...also, don't forget about that bracelet - it's VERY important.

Remember to vote and COMMENT on what thoughts you may have.

Always yours,

Kera