Tere Liye | ✔

Chapter Two - Rekindling

Earlier comments on this chapter has been deleted as they would not make any sense with the revised version of 'Tere Liye'. Just a note to old readers, those comments are still very special for me and I have them stored with me to cherish forever. I just don't want any confusion for new readers.

Hope you enjoy! :)

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They say grief shows up in funny ways. It creeps up slowly and pervades a person's mind with such a force that it makes them act in ways they never thought they would. It makes them go crazy with confusion on their own actions and that's exactly what she's feeling right now as she stood in the middle of her room, which seemed strange yet somehow, it felt like something she didn't know she needed uptil now.

She looked around. The warm color that her wall used to bare upon his choice, was not there anymore. It was instead replaced with a sky blue color that she has always wanted. She would dream to be surrounded by that colour for it made her feel like she was in the sky - free and happy as she spread her imaginary wings and flew around. But she had suppressed that desire when he had chosen a fiery warm color instead when they had first designed their room. Though that color made her feel trapped in a volcano, she had accepted it without any complaints. His happiness was superior. It always had been superior.

But not anymore. She was now free to do what she likes. She had a free will, and she'd just realise that.

Sighing, her eyes traveled downwards from the wall to rest at the succulents that had replaced the tiger colored lilies - lilies that, again, that he once chose. Contemplating on them for a while, she then again moved her sight upwards at the canvas paintings right above her headrest. It was her paintings, which she had kept hidden in her closet after she had gotten married. Paintings that were once her escape from the actual world, that were the witness of her thousands genuine smiles as she would lose herself in creativity, leaving behind every traces of sadness.

Now when she thinks about it, along with her paintings, she had buried several pieces of herself in great depths, just so she could take care of him after their marriage. And as her world started revolving around him, she had almost forgotten about them. She had forgotten about herself.

Lastly, she caught the sight of herself in the full length mirror kept against the wall, just next to her wardrobe.

Her eyes blinked as she touched her parting. Empty.

Her warm fingertips moved downwards to slightly graze the only chain her neck was adorned with and stopped at her name, written in cursive. It was a custom chain that Chotte had gotten for her not long ago but she never got a chance of wearing them. Her neck was already burdened with the symbols of her marriage.

Is this grief?

She asked herself, once again turning around to see the changes she had made to her room.

Was this another way to grieve, to show one's pain? Does erasing every single trace of the person that hurt you more than anyone ever did, a sign of grieving?

She had been heartbroken before. Umpteen of times. When she found out about her disability, when she saw her parents' dead bodies and when her Chotte wouldn't cry even after setting their parents' funeral pyre on fire. She had cried, profusely on such occasions. To an extent where she felt as if her heart had been yanked out of her chest and what was left was a breath that was slowly escaping as well.

But now, now she is not feeling any of these. Her tears wouldn't even show up, not even when her wounds were fresh last night. Instead of crying, she spent the whole of last night re-designing her room the moment Chotte left her - Not due to anger but due to a sudden curiosity. She wanted to see how it would feel to finally have everything set according to her choice and whilst doing that, she never thought that she was erasing his memories. All she could think about was that she was creating new memories, with herself.