Never Told A Lie (Phan fiction)

Chapter 29

The thing, Dan admits grudgingly, with making their relationship official, putting a name to the whole thing, is that there is no place for hiding anymore. They are Dan and Phil, they are boyfriends now. There’s no turning back; and it’s not like Dan particularly wants to turn back, he doesn’t, but he’s just- he’s a bit scared, quite a bit so, and not only about hurting Phil but also about school and PJ and Chris, and also their parents a little bit although, considering their mothers’ phone call, he knows he doesn’t have much to fear.

School though. Dan hasn’t paid much thought to going back to school on Monday because ever since Friday, and damn, it feels like it’s been a life time since that afternoon in Phil’s room, nervous glances and shy kisses, but ever since then Dan’s world has been kind of turned upside down and Dan’s not ready yet. He isn’t prepared for anything that school might bring, and he knows, he knows Phil won’t make him show off their relationship if he doesn’t want to because Phil is kind of amazing like that and he would never force Dan to do something out of his comfort zone, and Dan isn’t even sure if Phil wants them to go public just yet. He thinks about Holly and Brad Stanley and all the other jocks and the cheerleaders and he can’t find a reason why Phil would possibly want to tell people. Except for the same reason that Dan sort of wants to maybe: letting people know that the other is taken.

Especially from Phil’s point of view it would make sense. After all, Dan’s kind of really popular and he’s got girls swooning over him and asking him out for dates and he’s known to be a bit of a player as well. It would just be natural that Phil wants people to know that no, Dan isn’t going to snog anyone except him.

Dan’s still scared, though, because telling people will just give them another reason to pick on Phil and tease him and bully him even and Dan doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want Phil to be dragged into the spotlight just because of him. Which, upon further thinking, is probably kind of stupid, really, because Phil already is gossip topic #1, ever since they sat together in the cafeteria that first time and Holly made a scene, and it doesn’t seem to bother him that much anyway.

People have stopped a bit with the teasing now, Dan knows that, but he still picks up the muffled words and did you see that and I wonder why he likes Phil and I just don’t get it. It makes Dan angry, to hear everyone talk so lowly about Phil and he knows, if he can’t stand it now he is not going to be able to handle it any better once their relationship is out in the open and people will be wondering even more how and why Phil and why the nerd and Dan hates that, hates it so much that people aren’t able to see how incredible Phil is, so much more than just a geeky nerd.

On the bed next to him, Phil sighs.

“Dan,” he says quietly, scooting over so he is sitting in front of Dan, knees bumping together. “You’re thinking too much.”

Dan lifts his eyes and is met with Phil’s soft, concerned gaze.

“I’m not,” he replies stubbornly, dropping his gaze.

Phil quirks his eyebrow.

“That’s a lie,” he says, calls Dan out on his bullshit. “You’ve got your thinking face on.”

“My thinking face?”

Phil grins a bit, nodding. “Yeah. Wrinkled forehead, glaring intently into nothingness, lips in a straight line, very unlike your usual, dorky self. Oh, and as far as I know that just then was your favourite scene of the whole Totoro movie and you aren’t even glancing at the TV.”

Dan looks blankly at Phil for a moment, taken aback a bit by how observant Phil actually is, before bringing his features back into control. He smiles lightly, only a little bit faked, opens his mouth to reply but Phil cuts him off.