Blink. | meanie.

004.

'I said no.'

'W-whyy n-not?'

'Because I said so.'

My eyes filled up with tears. I stared at him with my best puppy eyes.
Mingyu's face was in a state of contemplation and concern but he grabbed my hand anyway. I was pulled from my hospital bed and stripped down.

Then, tangled in a thick woolly scarf, he lectured me about the dangers that lurked around.

'If you let go of my hand, I will not talk to you,Jeon Wonwoo.'

'I w-won't.'

Mingyu stared up from tying my shoelaces, our eyes connecting in those brief seconds, allowing the sounds of the city to die down as i heard a sigh slip from his lips.

'Promise?'

'P-promise.'

                                **********

My legs dangled off the swing as Mingyu pushed me about. Even though i wasn't going high due to Mingyu's grip, i felt like i was flying.

The bustling sounds of outside were so different to the bleak atmosphere of the hospital. People looked at me and they knew I existed, not just another patient. I felt like I meant something to someone.

                       **********

I used to love to read.But now,the words seemed to slip off the page, forming incomprehensible words as they imitated my overall viewpoint on life.Meaningless.All my attempts to even piece a simple sentence were futile.

I still love reading.But now, I think I love it more when a certain Kim Mingyu is the one reading to me, even if it was just books for 5 year olds.

***********
"And one day, the three little piggies decided to build their own houses."

I walked along the sidewalk with Mingyu's hand  tangled in mine as he read me my favourite book. I swung our arms even higher and skipped ahead of Mingyu. His grip tightened until I was pulled back to his chest.

Everything was...perfect.Everything was amazing. Mingyu had made me happy once again. Without him, I'm worthless. I couldn't express how good it felt to be...normal.

'Ew what the fuck is he doing with him.' I heard a voice in the distance.
'Chill, he's probably forced to do that. Can't you see, that guy is wearing the mental hospital suit thing that pyschos wear.'

My heart stopped and I looked up at Mingyu to see his eyes wander. There was a girl in front of him, her presence sickeningly sweet as she beamed at him.

'Hiya!' She giggled as her friend snorted behind her, staring right into my eyes. I froze.

'What do you want?' Mingyu replied, his voice laced in irritance.

'Oh,umm I was just wondering if you wanted my number or something. I love taking care of the...disabled. I could help and maybe you could come over afterwards.'

I hid behind Mingyu's arm as he protected me, worry overcoming my senses as i felt the vibrancy and lustre of the world dim down to the familiar dark setting i had grown accustomed to.And all I could do was hope he wouldnt let go of my hand.

'He's not disabled.'
Mingyu grunted, whilst simultaneously tightening our grip.
'And he's my boyfriend,so move.'

The girls faces dropped and both stared at me as if I was nothing but a problem. As if it would be better if I wasn't here in the first place.

'Well. Good luck with that.' She snorted and walked off.

I couldn't move. I crumbled beneath Mingyus glare filled with darkness. A tear swept across my face as I harshly tugged on the sleeve of my clothes in hopes of it disappearing. I buried my tears in the scarf Mingyu had dressed me in, now stigmatised with the uselessness of my existence. I couldn't run from it anymore.

'Wonwoo, close your eyes.'

'Wh-what?'

'Close your eyes'

I allowed my eyelids to fall gently, only to feel myself be trailed back to the swing set. I felt the rubber beneath me as I was sat on the seat. I was lost again, but this time in Mingyu's voice, as he recited the book he had memorised just for me. This time I didn't want to escape.

And there I was again. Flying on a swing set. Today was the day I thought that maybe it was better if I wasn't here. Just like my mum.

But then I felt the air caress my face as I swung on the swing set yet again. I was alive, but it was at moments like this that made me believe that only Mingyu wanted me in this world.

For him, I would allow the disgusted looks, the whispers and the stares.For him, I'll try my best to forget it all.

For him, I wouldn't mind.

It shouldn't be their choice.

It's mine.

And I choose to appreciate Mingyu's existence as much as I possibly could.

Mingyu cared. He's the only one.

At least that's what he told me. And then my heart stopped.

'M-mingyu?'

'Mmhhmm?'

'P-promise me. Prom-mise you w-will n-never lie to m-me.'

'I promise Wonwoo. I will never lie to you. I love you Jeon Wonwoo.

I blushed and squirmed on the seat and then decided to beg Mingyu to push me higher.

He gave me wings, and I wanted to fly with them.

I wanted more. I wanted to go up. It wasn't enough. The only thing that constricted me, was Mingyu's hand.

So I let go.

I slowly rose of the ground and felt the drips on my face settle. I squeezed my eyes shut. I was in the air. I wasn't useless . I wasn't crazy. I wasn't unworthy. I was Mingyu's.

I wish I could feel like this all the time.

Eventually, the swing came to a stop and I ran to Mingyu so he could have a go and maybe even feel as good as I did.

But he wasn't there. He left.

I let go.

So he left.