Summertime (Frerard)

13: The Domino Effect

The room smelled just as badly as it did last time, as did the entire hospital, but I'd been all too focused upon propelling myself forward as fast as physically possible in order just to have the slightest chance of happening upon the walking enigma that liked to call itself Gerard Way. Gerard had been a curse upon my sad little life, but one I had no intention of removing in any way, shape, or form.

I hadn't been awfully keen to attend this shithole in the first place, but I think, Miss Craw's bone crushing threats, along with my apparent need to see the elder Way brother again, were my driving forces to pull myself from several series of double doors and into a room that stunk just as pungently, if not a little worse than it did from my last visit. This hospital really did need to stop pumping the air vents full of chlorine or whatever the fuck they seemed to be intent on poisoning their patients with.

The room was filled by the all too familiar faces of George, Hannah, Jay, Maria, and of course my all-time favourite, Doctor McGidian. I hadn't bothered to remember their names of course - the Doctor had just been rather persistent with the names labels this time, almost as if he suspected that in fact, no one had been listening to a single world of the last session, but that would signify that maybe he just had a drop of intelligence, and I think maybe that was stretching it, just a little. I didn't like recognising the fact that people I hated possessed just a drop of intelligence; I think this was one of my most narcissistic qualities.

The room however, was absent of Gerard Way, and his irritatingly unforgettable face, complete with the enticing, if not slightly maniacal grin that he wore like it was part of skin. He seemed to just about hit perfect right on the bull's-eye, and I think that was what concerned me the most, because someone so 'dangerous' like him, just couldn't be the guy that seemed like he'd been crafted entirely out of God's own hands.

I didn't even know why I'd expected him to turn up in the first place, especially after what happened the last time we both attended this piss poor excuse for a support group. But that didn't and couldn't stop the disappointed glaze over my irises as I scanned the Gerard free room. Gerard wasn't just Gerard, he was strangely important and I found myself caring far too much about someone I most definitely shouldn't even bat an eyelash towards, but his life and mine seemed to be walking hand in hand right now - he just seemed to be a recurring event on my agenda, even when I hadn't planned for him to be. But things like this never really planned out, did they?

Everyone else but him was present and it just wasn't right, because I hadn't come for them, or for Miss Craw, or even myself. I came for Gerard, because apparently insanity was in control here. I began to wonder if Gerard even cared about my existence in the slightest, and really he ought to, because I can't keep my sanity in a state where I'm the only one who seems to believe there's some sort of mutual connection between the lines.

"Frank?" Someone who I hadn't cared to remember the name of had seemed to have managed to remember mine and was now prying me from the grips of my if not a little depressing daydreams and back into the even more depressing and overall Gerard devoid room. It was, of course, Doctor McGidian, his gaze prying at mine, almost stripping me on any self-esteem just via his sharp pinpoint gaze. "Do you have anything to add?"

"Mmm..." Was all I managed to respond with and I doubted that anyone was exactly thrilled with my social skills, not that I was actually the slightest little bit bothered when it came to what anyone else in this room did or didn't thought about me, but I doubted the fact that anyone besides the Doctor had much of a strong opinion towards me, as they seemed to just be sitting there like vegetables.

"Do you have anything to share?" I do wish they'd stop persisting; I thought I was making it clear enough that I did in fact not in the slightest want to be here at all, but then again they were hospital staff, weren't they? They were trained to expect that kind of shit from pretty much everyone, and then in turn persist with whatever treatment they saw fit regardless. I didn't like doctors.