Loving Laurel Animals MC book 6

Chapter Four.

They were back on the road bright and early the next day, neither of them bringing up their conversation from the night before. They rode in a tense silenced that was nearly deafening to Laurel's ears, maybe she'd been a little too blunt, a little to hard on him, she was not the only one who had struggled.

"Ivan.....I'm sorry about last night, I know you only wanted to help."

"No, I'm sorry I should have been a better husband. Maybe if I had been....we wouldn't be here now."

"It's not your fault, you were a good husband and you're a good friend."

He didn't reply and the car fell silent again for a few long moments, then she turned her head towards him with a heavy sigh.

"Do you ever miss the way it was before we ran the club, before we were married?"

"No, why would I miss before the club? They're family."

"It was easier. I miss how easy it all was, you were my boyfriend we were happy, life was good.....really really good and Ezra was alive and not in any trouble, he was happy. We used to all take those long camping trips together the tree of us out by the falls and I'd stare up at the sky thinking that life.....was so easy and things would never change."

"I was dirt poor.......you were the only thing in my life that made sense." He said with a shrug.

"Yeah but....it was good, you know? I didn't care you were poor and you didn't care that I was rich, and nobody messed with Ezra after that day in the lunchroom when I lay out Craig for dumping milk in his lap. It was just....the three of us.... Against the world....I miss."

He glanced over at her for just a second, a single question burning in his throat, scratching at his brain. One that had been bothering for awhile but he didn't know how to ask.

"Laurel?"

"Hmm?"

"You didn't seem surprised to learn Eve was a nun....I was shocked."

"I already knew, he told me a few days before he told everyone else." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal but it only made his question more present.

"Can I ask you something?" He ventured.

"Of course."

"Were you in love with Ezra?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

She sounded genuinely surprised that he would ask but in his mind it made sense, her and Ezra had stayed friends long after she and Ivan divorced and Ezra had been the one who pulled her through after the rape.

"I just....he's who found you that night....he's who was there the weeks after and he never confided in me the way he did with you. I thought maybe..."

"No, I love Ezra but....not like that and he....he was so crazy in love with Eve." She shook her head with a small laugh.

Ezra had been a self proclaimed ladies man before he met Eve, a nun at a local church and Ezra fell hard and fast. He had confided his struggle in Laurel who begged him not to do anything rash and he'd done the opposite. It ended with a bloodbath, Ezra's death and Eve leaving the convent for a better life in France with her new son lovingly named Ezra.

"Some days...it's hard to believe he's really gone," Ivan admitted.

Though they were cousins by blood Ivan and Ezra had been raised by Ivan's father and the two were more like brothers than anything else. Ivan had fell off the wagon hard after Ezra died.

"I know, I keep waiting to get a text or a phone call or......something."

"Me too, so does Dad and I know that Eve struggled for awhile."

"How is your father doing?"

"He was devastated when I told him about Ezra, I haven't seen him like that in a long time, not since my mother died anyway. I guess he's like the rest of us, taking it one day at a time until he can heal."

They all had their own way of healing, Ivan fell into an alcohol induced stupor that lasted for weeks, Eve had turned her full attention to Baby Ezra and their new home, Laurel had devoted her time to work and helping Ivan recover. They all had their vices for getting over Ezra and Ivan had been hers.

"He tried to tell me something right before......on the way to the hospital and I still don't know what he wanted to say. It's kept me up a lot nights," Ivan admitted.

"He loved you, I'm sure that's all he wanted to say and you know that."

"Yeah, maybe."

"The truth is when he got out of prison I wasn't very good to him. We had a few disagreements."

"About Eve?" Laurel guessed.

Naturally it had been a controversy when Ezra announced that he was in love with a Nun, people had immediately tried to talk him out of it.

"Among other things."

"It will get easier," Laurel offered gently.

"So, how much has changed back home?" He asked, needing to change the topic.

"Not much, same barber cuts everyone hair, same farmers riding their tractors, the ice cream shop still sells the best banana splits, the Church still rings the bell on Sunday."

He laughed as teenagers the ice cream shop was a Friday ritual between Ivan, Laurel and Ezra. Ivan being the oldest usually had to foot the bill but as long as he had Laurel's attention for a few minutes he didn't mind. It took him a full two years to actually ask her on a real date.

"Maybe we can sneak away a day and get some ice cream." He offered.

"Depends, are you buying?" She teased.

"Don't I always?"

"Have you been back at all since we got divorced?" She asked.

"No."

"Nothing has changed, not one single thing." She said with a small laugh.

"We have."

"Yeah, I guess we have."

She fell silent again and so did he, his attention strictly on the road ahead and hers directed to the passing scenery. Things had changed, they had changed, their relationship had changed. More scars, more baggage and less loved had changed them and Laurel hoped that the quiet little town they grew up in didn't wake up long enough to notice.