Love and Remember

Author's Note

So, I'm curious. Did you guys actually expect a happy ending?

This is real life, after all. There's no such thing as a forever, as do all the bitter Filipino teenagers say. (And oops, fun fact about me I'm of Philippine origin. Hehe)

Through the course of this book, I wrote this, already knowing how it's going to end. But for the period of time that I wrote this, I actually struggled... It was painful, even if I only just had to remember the times I loved him. Those memories need to be buried, but I do know that it IS fine to remember and just laugh at how stupid you were at this thing called love.

I know, I made it feel like it was his fault. But I have already accepted it is actually of my own doing. Because of my selfishness, vulnerabilities, and naivety, I let myself fall victim to my emotions. I end up battered, broken, and dead inside. You may see me smiling, but that's because I have no choice but to do so.

Over the course of writing, I had to do things that a person moving on won't normally do. And that's stupid, I know. Why would I stalk his profile, his friends' profile, look back at previous messages, etc? Just for a book? Truly I cut out a lot of parts, this was supposed to be 20+ chapters but I ended up narrowing it to almost 15 parts because I struggled so much and I just didn't want to write anymore. If you notice, there may or may not be plotholes everywhere. Sorry for that. But the good thing is I shared my story so y'all have some second-hand experience.

Alright, enough with the sappy part. Ahh, this is gonna trigger a lot of people I know, ('cause it's their pet peeve or something) but I know how badly written this is. Maybe if I move on I can either edit this in my free time or have someone do it for me.

I guess this is the part in dramas where the girl promises to never love a person ever again because of the trauma given by the boy who hurt her, but nah. This is real life. Suck it up, bitch, and move on.

To end this story, here is another one of my KPop songs. The lyrics are below.  ^^ Well then, that's it for now! Thank you to all you people who read my hopeless story. I'm so happy I finished this! I feel so achieved right now. ^^

I'm out!~

"To you who broke my heart, the first one I ever learned to love, who made me feel special for a while, then shutting me out as I lose purpose in your life. To you who never cared for me...

...thank you."

"(Get funky, get down, get down, come on! Get funky, get down.)
Ah~ Let's go
Nanananananana nanananananana nananananananana (2x)

I was so young back then, I could only see you
I didn't need anything if we could be together
We fought a lot about things that weren't a big deal
When I think about it, only laugher comes out

Sometimes I'm so curious about you, I could die
But there's nothing I could do about it now
Sometimes I think of you and I miss you so much
But I will just bury it in as beautiful memories

First love, my unforgettable love
Why does it hurt so much? Am I the only one who remembers?
First love, I call out to you with this desperate voice
Until it can reach you, until always

Nanananananana nanananananana nananananananana (2x)
(Get funky, get down, get down, come on! Get funky, get down.)

Hello? Just saying that one word is hard so I can't even call you
I'm sorry that I didn't treat you better, I'm so sad over you
I can't be held by you anymore, even in my dreams
Don't ever hurt again and be happy, I will pray for you

The past memories flicker before me, I can't do anything
Why am I such a fool?

First love, my unforgettable love
Why does it hurt so much? Am I the only one who remembers?
First love, I call out to you with this desperate voice
Until it can reach you, until always

I close my eyes in this moment, tears flow in this moment
Why am I so pathetic, still not over you?
Without a choice, I'll pray for your happiness

Nanananananana nanananananana nananananananana (2x)
(Get funky, get down, get down, come on! Get funky, get down.)