Bones ⋆ Draco Malfoy (3)

| TWENTY-FIVE: Sticks and Stones (Will Break His Bones)

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TWENTY-FIVE STICKS AND STONES (WILL BREAK HIS BONES)

     THE MID-JULY WEATHER has the school on its knees — it isn't exactly boiling hot, but it's sticky still, evaporated lake water and sweat filling the atmosphere like pissed off, vengeful particles. The house lurking in the dungeons is still, because only one of the residents are in, and he lost his Walkman ages ago. He wishes he could open the window, even if it results in the lake water consuming him like once upon a time. There's a reason he's the only one in there, the only one stupid enough to sit in the dungeons and accept the stuffiness.

     He lies on a sofa, his gaze fixed on the dark stone ceiling, his hand a couple inches away from a glass of water. His friends are all out. His older sister won't even bother speaking to him, let alone sucking it up and walking into this common room. His parents don't know about their argument. Doesn't know how. Figures they'd find out eventually, either through his sister complaining straight to them, or by her complaints being passed from one to the other until it reached them.

     Livvy might be having a crisis. It might be because he doesn't know what to do with this fucking mark, but he knows that his only way out is death, so he's got to accept its existence. It might also be because he knows he's in love with his best friend and he knows that he'll probably be dead before he can share this. One or the other...

     He wishes that he can go back. He misses having time left. He misses being able to tell apart seconds, minutes, hours, days. He misses worrying about just the Triwizard Tournament, just Barty forcing Livvy's blood to boil at the thought of Briar, just the thought of ooh, does Draco like me back?

     Times have changed. Things have changed. He wishes that he could just go back to the basics, go back to where he's just a small kid with a new Slytherin uniform, a grin on his face, and a strange friendship formed between himself and the kid that had first been punched in the face by Briar because he had insulted Livvy.

     Everything's changed and he doesn't like it. He doesn't like how his sister always looks ready to fight, but she won't share why she always look like this. He doesn't like how his little brother Teddy's going to grow up with a variety of memories about the time where the world was not at peace. He doesn't like how everything's growing, changing, moving on, upwards and onwards.

     He just wants it to stop. He wants to stand back for a minute, he wants to think things through again. He wants to stop acting on impulse because time's a gift and he's yet to receive it. But he wants it so badly.

     He wants to be able to wake up and think straight. He wants to know his agenda, he wants to feel more connected to the universe. He doesn't want to feel like this is the fate he's destined to have, like he has no choice but to agree and allow life to roll past. He wants to be in control.

     Livvy sits up. He looks around at his common room. He sees the staircase, the steps where he and Poppy used to talk, not about anything in particular, just sat together and hung out and didn't have a care in the world, because back then, he didn't have any. Not anything as important as this current one. Back then, this current problem was just a possibility, just something he'd be able to get out of thanks to his big sister.

     But he didn't. And he's struggling, Merlin, is he struggling. He can feel the weight of the world on his shoulders and he's just a kid, he's not strong enough to know how to hold it the best, how to grasp the weight, how to avoid getting crushed. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know where to start.

     Voices begin to rise. The movement in the lake makes Livvy believe that it's started to chuck it down outside, and thus, everyone's ran back to common rooms and other indoor areas. Livvy leaves before his friends return, keeping his head low.