Vacation With My Cousin

48 : I will, I will leave

Mahal niya? For over two decades of him living with Chanty, I don't even feel Charm felt the feeling I felt for Chanty since then. May mali eh! I don't know. Chanty seemed calm with what happened.

I know, mag-iisang linggo na nang mangyari iyon. Charm is missing, again. Nakalabas na din ng hospital si Chanty.

Kung hindi lang kaya nakunan si Chanty? Would our baby be a girl or a boy?

It's cute when it's a girl.May reyna na ako, may prinsesa pa. I imagined her holding our princess and I'll just watch them, laughing and chasing them.

I heave a sigh and drank all the way down the dry martini I've ordered. Nanlalabo na ang paningin ko. Sawa na ako sa kaiiyak at kakagawa ng paraan para maibalik lang ang lahat.

Nakakasawa din pala ano? Parang hingal na hingal ka sa pinaggagagawa mo. Nakakasawa din pala kung sigaw ka ng sigaw maitatak lang sa utak nia ang lahat ng gusto mong sabihin. Nakakasawa din pala ipakita at sabihin sa kanya ang nakaraan kung wala din namang balak makinig.

Nakakapagod na nakakasawa. Ang hirap intindihin.

I heave a sigh and order another strong liquor. Napadukmo nalamang ako nang wala sa oras. Parang anytime mawawala na ako sa sarili ko, "I'm tired.." I breathlessly said as everything shut downed.

"Ano?! What the fuck is in your mind? Sabihin mo sa kanya , hindi yung pinapahirapan mo ang tao para layuan ka! He won't! He won't because he loves you so much and leaving you in that case is not a reasonable reason!"

"Ayokong kaawaan niya ako!"

"Kaawaan? oh c'mon! You're totally insane! You even involve everyone here? Hindi mo ba alam na magagalit sila sayo dahil saginawa mo sa kania?!"

"Mas mabuti na iyon, mas mabuti nang iwan ko sia nang maaga.. mas mabuti nang magalit sila at layuan nila ako basta, I don't want him or them to see me dying, if it means kissing my brother, I will."

"You sucks Chanty! You suck! Retrograde amnesia!? Wow! Totally great! Bakit hindi mo sabihin sa kanilang may leukemiaka? Terminal Leukemia to be exact! Great Chant!"

"Chant? Leukemia?" I stoned hearing them arguing. He kissed Charm just because he wants me to get mad at him and stay the hell out of me away from her? She acted like she got her retrograde amnesia para masaktan ako?

Nanlaki ang mga mata nito nang makita ako. "L-Lucho?"

"Are you gonna ask me if kanina pa ako dito? " mapait akong napangisi at napailing habang nakatiim ang bagang. "Yes Chant, I heard everything. You're the stupidest person I've ever known Chant, sa tingin mo talaga dahil lang sa mamatay ka na, iiwan na kita? You're stupid. If you wanted me to get the hell out of your life then don't worry. I will. I will leave if that makes you happy." I was shaking my head in appalled.

I heave a sigh before leaving. "Chant, one more thing."

She was crying, looking at me. I looked back, eye-to-eye

"Pati ba ang pagkaaksidente mo planado? Pati ang paglalayas ni Charm?" she bit her lip and shook her head.

"Great."

I was so thankful that my tears didn't betrayed me at all. I turned my back to them—Chanty and Chaos—nd left their house crumpling the book we've compiled.

Putangina! Ang sakit na nga sa mata sa kakaiyak, ang sakit na sa katawan sa kakahanap ng paraan para maibalik ang lahat , pero ito? Ganito na lang? Ang sakit pala! Basag na nga ego ko, pati ba naman ang nararamdaman ko? I know I would be too cruel if I'll curse her to death but I can't picture myself out laying beside her on the hospital bed again—very ill.

If she wants me to leave then I sure will. I'm leaving.