Halt's Ranger Apprentices- John Flanagan Ranger Apprentice fan-fiction

CHAPTER TWENTY

Halt, Duncan, Crowley, Will and Squirt sat by the fire. Squirt couldn't believe she actually agreed to having this dinner with them. She hated all of them, except for Will. Will had explained to Squirt that he found out after she left for Castle Araluen. Squirt nodded her understanding, she couldn't blame Will for not telling her since he had nothing to do with it until a few days ago. It had been 3 days after Squirt found out. She still cried herself to sleep. Sometimes Will heard her and would come into her bedroom and let her cry on his shoulder. They would talk about it as well, Squirt would even ask Will questions that she knew he had no idea about, but she had to let it out.

Tonight, was going to be unpredictable. No one had any idea where to start, and how Squirt would react. They sat silently around the table. They had, had dinner in silence. But no one really ate much. Will noticed the tension that was growing between Squirt and the others, so Will took control and began to speak. He had no idea what he was going to say, right up until the last mini-second from talking.

"So, Duncan how about you start, then we'll go to Halt, then if Crowley wants to add anything he can, then Squirt can....." Will wasn't sure what Squirt could do after they finished talking, Squirt seeing his hesitation and unsureness, she stepped in

"Then I'll say how much I enjoyed hearing the story that I should've heard years ago and not now," she took another intake of breath and spoke again, "then I'll let you guys know how much I hate you all and storm out, sound like a plan?" no one replied or answered. Squirt gave them a grim smile "Good, I'm glad we got that clear" she said in grim satisfaction. There was a long silence before Duncan began to speak.

"Well.....I guess I better start..."

<-----------<<<<-

"..And I can still remember that day like it was yesterday, you instantly fell silent at my voice and went back to sleep" Halt was finishing his story of what happened. He paused for several seconds to let what he just said, sink in to Squirt, then he spoke again, "We didn't keep this from you so you could react like this Squirt, we kept it from you so this wouldn't happen" Squirt had tears roll down her face. For a second she felt sorry for Halt, but she shook her head angrily to wipe it away from her mind. He still lied , she told herself in her head over and over again through out his story.

"Well Halt, I'm absolutely flattered, and you know what I think I'm going to forgive you for lying to me, my whole life" she said sarcastically. It was obvious that she was sarcastic. Halt took a long deep breath to calm himself. He just wanted her to look at his situation in his point of view, then maybe, just maybe she would understand and forgive him, as well as Duncan and the rest.

"Squirt, put yourself in my shoes, or Duncan's shoes, this has been hard for us all" Squirt got real mad at this

"Oh I'm sorry, this has been hard for you, but it's your fault for that not mine! You had the choice to tell me and take away the pain from the very start but you didn't! So don't ask for my forgiveness when you know that I did nothing wrong. It's your fault, so you're going to pay for it!" Halt stood up from his chair

"I-" He was about to bellow but Squirt saw it coming. She stood up, wasn't quite as tall as Halt but she didn't care. She was angry.

"And there you go again! Well Halt, I don't care what you say to me or what you think about me because you've made it quite clear that you can't tell me the truth! And so have you Duncan! And you too Crowley! I hate you all!" there was a stunned silence then Squirt yelled one more thing before storming in to her room. "I hope you rot in hell..." she said in a cold, harsh voice. She slammed the door shut and burst in to tears behind her door. Duncan went to get up and go towards the room but a hand grabbed his arm. He turned to see Will out of his chair.

"Let me go" Will said gesturing to the door as he said the words. Duncan hesitated. Will seemed to be doing a lot of comforting for Squirt, more than he liked. But Will's eyes were what convinced him to let him go. They had a warm glow in them that assured him that Will wouldn't do anything stupid. Duncan nodded and Will went in side the room, shutting the door gently.

"Well....." Duncan said "That went well" he put his face in his hands, rubbing his forehead. He had a killer head ache, Crowley and Halt nodded in agreement

"Very well.." Halt said gloomily and they all sat in silence.

<---------<<<<-

Back in Squirt's room, Squirt was crying on Will's shoulder once again. He hugged her tightly, one hand around her waist and the other stroking her hair soothingly.
"Why couldn't they just tell me...?" Squirt asked miserably, lifting her head from his shoulder. Will looked into those red-rimmed eyes

"I believe they're telling the truth. That they wanted to tell you but didn't want to put you in this much pain" Will said. Squirt stunned by his answer took a step back.

"You're taking their side" Squirt said in disbelief. Will shook his head.

"I'm not taking any sides. I think that it was wrong for them to keep this from you..." Will said. Squirt saw right through Will. He was telling the truth but there was something else, she thought

"But.....?" Squirt asked wiping her tears away as she said it. Will took a deep breath.

"But....." he said eventually "I do think you should put yourself in their shoes......Just imagine, you were....uh....Duncan.....And you had just lost your soul mate and you had a baby to look after....You would be heart broken and you would probably be as devastated as you are now, right?" Will asked. Squirt pictured a crib in the corner of the room with a baby crying. Then she thought about how devastated she would be if some one like Halt or....Will dying. Squirt nodded.

"Probably worse....depending on who it was who died.." Will nodded.

"Exactly, and if you felt responsible for their death you wouldn't want to have the baby that your soul mate loved to death..." Will could see the message was sinking in to Squirt. He continued. "Then, you see your child 5 years later with one of your best friends that took your child in, so happy, so cheerful, and who looked like your dead soul mate. How do think you would feel?" he asked. Squirt went wide-eyed

"I-I wouldn't want to tell them" she admitted after a minute of thinking about it. She felt tears roll down her cheeks. She thought of what she had just said to them, "Did I really say that they should rot in hell?" she asked and Will nodded. She slumped on her bed. Will sat close next to her. Squirt burst in to tears once again. "What a mess!" she cried out. Will hugged her once again.

"It's alright, we can get through this" he said. Squirt swallowed, still crying,

"I hope so" she sobbed.