Breathe Me | Jikook

5

We'll think about it.

Those were the words Jungkook's parents had told him the night before at dinner, and those were the words that were ringing through his head as he walked through the doors of his school, head lowered. He supposed that having them think about it was better than them blatantly refusing, but he wanted confirmation that he had successfully evaded the session.

Taehyung was nowhere in sight, which was odd, but Jungkook shook it off. He didn't need his friend by his side twenty four hours of the day; he could get to class by himself.

Jungkook shouldered his way towards his class. He hated how many people were in the hallways. It felt as if he was suffocating even though he'd tried to create a safe little bubble around him. No sound could get in, no one could pass through.

One breath. One step. He could get through this day.

"Jungkook," The same girl from before, the one who had asked him about chemistry, stopped him. He looked up, the bubble he'd created failing miserably. She was standing with her friends near her locker, looking at him from over her friend's shoulder.

Her friends gave her an odd look. Jungkook felt his stomach sink.

"Do you want to walk to class together?"

No. No, you're weird, no one ever talks to me. What are you doing?

"Why?" Jungkook asked, looking down at his shoes. He couldn't look at her; he wouldn't be able to hold her gaze. He wanted to go, he wanted to leave. He thought his stomach was going to choke him.

"No reason." She said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. He could imagine her shrugging, dismissing his worries, trying to trick him. Jungkook knew it was bad to assume people were trying to trick him, trying to hurt him, but it kept him safe. Alone, but safe.

"I—" can get to class by myself. The words died in his throat. He was trying to feel better, trying to help himself improve. He needed to stop assuming things about people; he needed to stop thinking they were all so bad. If Jungkook made new friends, what would his parents think? Would that, "We'll think about it." turn into "We've cancelled the session. We're so proud of you for fighting on your own."

"Sure." Jungkook said. The school floors were scuffed in places, but it wasn't enough to make shapes that Jungkook could pick out, not like the paint on his ceiling. It didn't help to calm him at all.

"Yeah?" She said, voice hopeful. Her friends rolled their eyes and walked away, bags slung over their shoulder. Their chattering resumed, but it was lost in the combined talk of the hallway.

Jungkook nodded. He didn't know if he could speak. He had that acidic taste in the back of his mouth, and his heart was fluttering, making it a little challenging to breathe.

"Let's go then." The girl turned and started to walk, leaving Jungkook to follow. He had never really walked to class with anyone other than Taehyung, and most of the time he let Taehyung ramble on about his theories. Jungkook had never really had to make small talk before, not since he had become this.

He felt awkward because he was anxious, and he felt anxious because he was awkward. What were you even supposed to say to a girl? Especially one who had a light, cheery voice? Jungkook couldn't manage that; he'd only weigh her down.

However, the silence stretched on, and he found that he could hear his own heartbeat pounding against his sternum. There were certain sounds in the hallway that he could pick out: muffled laughter, the squeak of a shoe, the slam of a locker. He found himself fidgeting with his fingers, twisting them, as a cold sweat started at the base of his neck.