Collab with @BelindaZoe
Never switch England's earl grey tea with America's coffee, or any other drink. Adding sugar, salt or pepper into the tea is also not advised.
Arthur Kirkland, the personification of England, representative of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, a globally influential centre of finance and culture, birthplace of William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens and hundred of other famous artists, took a big gulp of tea before promptly spitting it all out everywhere.
"Who switched my perfectly wonderful tea with this horrible, vile, disgusting, bloody muck (no offense to coffee-lovers)?" he yelled, his two monstrous (more often than less mistaken for two stray caterpillars) eyebrows waggling on top of his eyes as he yelled.
"What do you mean muck?" cried America, offended "It's a drink fit for heroes, therefore, I AM DE ULTIMATE, LIFE-SAVING HER-"
"Shut it, git." snapped Britain, still upset about his poor tea "I just want to know, WHO DID IT?"
France sat in a tub full of wine in the corner, making bubbles with a straw just as well as his fart. Two toes stuck up from the water and did some gesture that meant "Obviously it was America."
America: Hell no *Pours coffee into france's wine tub.*
Britain: *pours the muck onto America*
America: ARRGGGGHHHHHHH! *pulls out coffee cannon*
France: *Switches to sniper-feet mode* NO ONE RUINS MY WINE WITH SHIT WATER *Raises middle toe*
America: I TOLD YOU IT'S NOT SHIT WATER! *opens fire*
Canada: *Uses mirror*
Coffee: It is very ineffective BECAUSE I'M FUCKING COFFEE! I STAIN MIRRORS!!!
France: *Shoots america but accidentally mistook a pig as him because they look alike*
Germany: Based on the results of the experiment, I conclude that what America claims to be coffee is 20% water, 80% Shit and 0% Coffee.
Canada: *Canada uses Britain's right toe*
*Tries to lop of America's head by swinging Britain like a bat*
Britain: BLOODY HELL! *screams while flying through the air horizontally at 100 miles per hours*
France: *Finds a nyan pig*
Pig: OINK OINK MOTHER FUCKER
France: Gorgeous *Rides nyan pig into the sunset*
Russia: *pulls out his majestic metal pipe of pain* KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL *Starts tao dancing with it as if it was a cane*
Canada: *swings a poor shrieking Britain around like a whip*
America: *Gets coffee-drunk and tries to flirt with a cup of coffee*
Japan: *Camera on*
Greece: *Realises inner meow meow* Meow *Attempts to eat Turkey (coz cats eat birds) but just started licking him*
Turkey: *Takes a selfie on snapchat and captions it "Random hottie started licking me out of nowhere."*
Germany: *Attempts to play Italy as a guitar while putting him in a headlock*
Prussia: *pours beer onto Austria* I shall cleanse you my child.
*Drops empty beer barrel onto Austria* Sleep my child.
*Slides to Hungary* Angry frying pan lady~
Hungary: *Turns into hulk and pulls out her fabulous frying pan of pancakes and chases after Prussia*
America: *Looks at a coffee cup suggestively*
China: *In a corner making cha shao bao*
Romano and Spain: *Sings* The fat tomato sat on a wall, the fat tomato had a great fall. All of Spain's horses, all roma's men, couldn't put tomato together again. *Both start sobbing and clings to each other*
Italy: *having a siesta while in a headlock (because siestas must be taken regularly even when someone is trying to squeeze your head off) dreaming of replacing every single nation in the world with pasta*
Germany: Based on the results of the experiment, I conclude that the switched content in England's cup is 100% tea and 100% burnt.
Everyone: *Stops*
France: *Rides nyan pig through the window* I'm back~ *Couple hundred nyan pigs following up behind*
Screen: GAME OVER
