Careful || Toy Soldiers

E P I L O G U E

   The sun was high in the sky the day of Joey Trotta's funeral.

   Emma stood next to Billy, Hank, Snuffy and Ricardo in the second row of the church, behind Joeys family.

   She wore a black short sleeve dress that fell below her knees and Billy had made it his job that day to tell her she looked beautiful each chance he got.

   It was the only thing keeping her from crying.

   Emma had been grounded for going against Mr. Parkers orders by not staying at the base but it didn't bother her. Once she arrived back to New York she had been bombarded by questions from her friends there and her family, but she ignored every one. All she wanted to do was sleep, but that came hard when the nightmares started.

   The weren't as bad as Billy's, as he had explained them to her when they called each other, which was every night since she arrived back home. She would wait for her parents to go to bed and one by one call the boys to make sure they were okay. She even called the kids Ted and Yogurt. Frankly, they just liked that a girl was paying attention to them.

   The funeral had been the first time they were seeing each other since the day at the school. They greeted each other with hugs and smiles but nothing more. Today they were seeing their friend get Buried. Nobody was really talking.

   She had been standing next to her parents and Mr. Parker when Billy walked next to her.

   "Hello," he said politely. The dean nodded and her father shook his hand. "You're the boy my daughter risked her life for." Billy stared at Emma with a sort of sad smile. "One of them," he answered.

   He took her hand and lead them to where they were sitting. It was a closed casket, but she couldn't stop staring at it anyways.

   It was a nice reception, nothing big and extravagant, just a few people and his closest friends. Ted and Yogurt even showed up. Emma smiled at them.

   At the end, she convinced her parents to let her go with her friends for the night. They allowed it this once, seeming the circumstances, but reminded her that it would be the only time. She kissed them on the foreheads and went off.

   Around 9:30 at night they found themselves in the woods, huddled together around a poorly lit fire. "It'll grow bigger," Snuffy promised. "It will!"

   It was the 5 of them. Ricardo, Hank, Snuffy, Billy, and Emma. They had found pieces of logs to set around the fire. They left a space open.

  "For Joey," Hank had said. They all looked at each other. "For Joey."

   An hour later, Billy pulled something out of his book bag. A notebook. "Joey would have wanted you have it."

   Her eyes weld up with tears as she flipped through it. "Are you sure?"
"Positively."

   There were beautiful drawings of the gang, and the hole downstairs in the basement where they used to hang out. And even one of her. She let her fingers trace the outlines of her hair, then flipped to the next page.

   It was a picture of Luis.

   Her legs began to shake, then followed the rest of her body. "Hey, hey, Emma, Emma, are you okay?" She felt a hand on her shoulder.

   Standing up, she tore the page out of the book, crumpled it up, and threw it in the fire.

  "I will be." She said.

   We all will be.