Towers-Laucy/Camren

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My friend was proof-reading this for me and when she finished, she yelled: THAT'S SOME POETIC SHIT RIGHT THERE

//

  from the faun forever gone 

in the towers of your honeycomb 

I’d-a tore your hair out, just to climb back, darling

towers – bon iver

//

They’re dancing, bodies pressed together in the darkness of the club, music so loud that they couldn’t hear each other over the beat, even if they tried—

—and yet, when Lauren pulls her in by her hip, curling her fingers right over the edge of Camila’s skirt, Camila has no trouble hearing the words when Lauren says, “I asked her. For real. Camz, I really asked her.”

It hits her body before it hits her mind; the sting in her stomach, the pounding in her head, the sudden stumble in her step that has nothing to do with the alcohol.

Camila stares at Lauren and she knows that it’s true. Right there in the glint of Lauren’s eyes. The excited tremble of her bottom lip. The proud curl of her smile.

She steps forward to hug her best friend close.

When she finally manages to breathe out an answer, the syllables slice right through her throat, tearing through her skin so harshly that Camila is surprised she isn’t dripping blood all over Lauren’s gorgeous white top. “Oh my God, really? Laur, I’m so happy for you.”

They’re dancing. They keep dancing. Bodies pressed together in the darkness of the club, music so loud that Camila can barely hear the sound of her ribcage cracking open beat by beat, second by second.

She knows that Lauren couldn’t hear it, even if she tried.

//

Any time Lucy says anything, she articulates with her left hand, breaking the light with the ring on her finger. She’s all excited smiles and can you even believe this is really happening and pulling Lauren into her at any chance she gets, giggling into her neck, and looking beautiful. She looks beautiful. They both do – beautiful and happy.

“I’m so happy for you.”

Blood is dripping down Camila’s throat when she says it. Blood is staining the fancy white table cloth when Camila looks at Lauren and says of course I’ll go dress shopping with you. Blood on the glasses at every congratulations. Blood on the plates at every it looks gorgeous. Blood spilling right from her veins at every that sounds amazing.

Blood. Blood. Blood.

After dinner, Lauren pulls Camila into her in the darkness of the hallway while Lucy is on the phone calling her parents.

“Camz,” Lauren says, lips against Camila’s cheek, the vibration of her voice hitting Camila’s heated skin. “I’m so happy I get to share this with you. I love you.”

For Lauren, she’ll bleed until her heart dries out, so Camila says it and she means it – she will mean it, always, even if it will drain her drop by drop.

//

There aren’t enough profanities to whisper when Lauren exits the dressing room and Camila feels like she will never breathe again.

She just looks and looks and looks at everything that isn’t hers – the sharp lines of Lauren’s shoulder blades, the edgy point on Lauren’s wrist when she brings her hand up to run it through her wavy hair, the tip of Lauren’s tongue wetting her lips, slightly parted in a way that makes Camila think of darker nights and younger light, and Lauren’s skin so smooth and soft that it burns in the ashes of Camila’s memory, in the thoughts she’s tried to take the oxygen out of so many times before already. Lauren’s eyes on her, testing Camila’s reaction, her eyes, her eyes, her eyes, always her eyes.

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