Goodbye My First Love

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(Jaebum)
I sat fidgeting in my sit of the café, id come early because i needed time to gather my thoughts. I wanted to apologize but i didn't know how to say everything id wanted to say for years, im was a nervous wreck. The waiter came up to me for the fifth time "Sir, are you ready to order?" I gave him a sheepish grin "i guess I might as well order, ill have one black coffee." He scribbled my order down and disappeared into the kitchen. The doorbell chimed and in walked Choi Youngjae, he looked as perfect as usual. I bit down my nerves and gave a small smile "your early" he said as he sat down "yeah i know" he glanced up at me and smiled "you haven't changed a bit have you?" I shook my head "no i guess i haven't, i ordered my coffee already i would have ordered your but i didn't know what you'd want." He nodded before waving the waiter over "ill have a coffee with two scoops of sugar and alittle milk please." My coffee was set in front of me while youngjae ordered. "You still drink that?" He asked in disbelief "drink what?" He just shook his head "you really haven't changed. But we both know we arent here for just talking" i smiled, he had changed thats for sure. He had confidence and wasn't scared anymore, something i wish he'd had when we dated. "Your right. I asked you here so i could apologize. Im just not really sure how to say it. I'll be honest i didn't expect you to meet with me after everything i did" he nodded "neither did i, but everyone deserves the chance to move on even if its their fault their stuck." He still believed in saving everyone just in a different way now. "Not everyone would agree with you, Jr. Told me you and mark finally got together, im really happy for you. I wish he'd been the one who walked into that little café and asked you to eat blueberry muffins with him" his eyes watered slightly as he looked at the table but i wasn't stopping i couldn't "you know i wish i had never met you, not because you did anything but because i couldn't face my fears hell i still haven't faced my fears. And i dont think i can ever apologize enough for what i did. But believe it or not i really did love you and im thankful for the memories we share, the good ones atleast. You are a special guy and mark is really lucky to have you, you deserve a great guy like him." I whispered the last part "you really did want to apologize didn't you?" I let out a shaky breath "yeah i did, i wanted to apologize the day i asked for your number. You didn't deserve any of the suffering you went through because of me." "your right i didn't. I wish I'd been stronger back then and left sooner but i wasn't and i cant change that. I appreciate that you came to me and apologized. You know i forgive you the moment i left, but to see how sincere you are means alot." I  couldn't help but smile "your smiling?" "yeah i am, im so happy to see you found your voice and you dont let assholes like me walk all over you anymore. Well i think I'll be going, no need to draw this out any longer, goodbye youngjae." He shot up and grabbed my arm "wait, you aren't going to at least finish your coffee?" I shook my head and gently pulled my arm away "no, the longer i stay the longer i regret my mistakes plus you have someone to get home to, im sure he is pacing back and fourth waiting on you to come home." He didn't say anything as i walked out the door and down the street. That had been one of the hardest things I've every had to do but i felt as if i could finally breath again. I pulled out my phone and powered it on, i dialed the number and waited "hello?" I smiled "Jr. Im gay."

Well that's the end of this stort guys! I hope you enjoyed it and thank u so much! Im sad that its over but im excited to work on new stories and some of my older ones

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Well that's the end of this stort guys! I hope you enjoyed it and thank u so much! Im sad that its over but im excited to work on new stories and some of my older ones. Thank you again!

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