"Flowers for Sheldon..."
Summary: Leonard and the gang discover Sheldon has taken advantage of Penny's request for help with her binge drinking to make needed improvements...
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck Lorre's...
Part XXVI...
"So...Another Saturday morning watching my favorite couples be happy...While I observe, alone and miserable..." Raj sighed...Watching the road...
Bernadette eyeing Howard as they sat in back...
"Did I mention I tried to rehook with my deaf ex-?...She's marrying some Brazilian multimillionaire..."
He caught sight of Bernadette whispering to Howard...
Ah, here comes the vague attempt at sympathetic comfort...Aimed primarily at making me less of a downer to their joy...
"Raj..." Howard, sympathetic tone... "We feel for you...But if this tone you're taking is some indication of depression and vaguely suicidal tendencies, pull over so we can catch a cab..."
"Hey..." Raj frowned in the rearview mirror... "You're supposed to be my friends...Where's the slightly insincere attempt at sympathy masking your desire to be unbothered in your happiness...?"
"We're much too good friends to pull that on you, Rajesh..." Bernadette, firmly... "You know we want you to be happy but we're not gonna feel miserable or pretend so to make you feel better...You need to get out there and follow the example of two of the least likely males on Earth to hook up with delightful, beautiful, and even intelligent women...If Sheldon Cooper and Howard Wolowitz can find love and enduring happiness, it oughta be a piece of cake for a cutie like you...With a Maserati..."
"Which he never takes said good friends out in..." Howard noted, sternly...
"Dude...And dudette...I told you my parents are only leasing the car for me...If I get it mucked up, the cleaning is coming out of my allowance...But we'll take out for a special occasion sometime...Like say, a double date?..."
"Are you invoking the friendship pact on fixing you up via Bernadette?..." Howard frowned... "Cause we never signed onto that between us..."
"No..." Raj pleasantly, waving a hand... "I'm saying if you ever want a chance to so much as see the inside of my Maserati...Find me a woman...Sweet and under fifty-five if possible...So that does not include your mother, Howard..."
"Well, unfortunately that exhausts my possibilities, old friend..." Howard, shrugging...
"Why didn't Raj get in on that girlfriend agreement?...You made me do it for Leonard that time..." Bernadette...A tad disturbed...
Especially since fixing Raj up with Cyndy from Cheesecake Factory could mean Maserati rides every weekend...
"I thought Leonard might actually have a shot meeting a girl someday...Raj couldn't speak to them...And..." pause...
"I would not have wanted to go out with anything connected to the women Howard was occasionally managing to date back then..." Raj helpfully filled in... "Though, if you're offering, Bernadette..."
Howard, surreptiously making "No, no" hand waves, below Raj's back view...
"Well..." she frowned at the urgent hand signals... "I'll see what I can do..."
"Thanks...Forgive the blackmail, guys...I'm desperate here..."
What?...She mouthed to Howard...Averting head from Raj's possible view...
"Here's a thought..." Howard, friendly beam... "Why not try Internet dating?...It worked one miracle...Maybe lightening can strike twice..."
At this stage of our game...You want to spend every weekend nursemaiding Raj and one of your likely-to –be-former friends through their doomed relationship...? He whispered, a bit frantically to her ear...
YOU ARE READING
"Flowers for Sheldon..."
FanfictionLeonard and the gang discover Sheldon has taken advantage of Penny's request for help with her binge drinking to make needed improvements...With consequences.
