28.

39 1 4

by leftforgotten

by leftforgotten

"H. can you pick me up?"
"When?"
"Whenever you have free 10 mins.I'm ready."
"Be there in 10."
I was waiting at the lounge with my head full of good advise.
Not too much physical effort... No long distance flying...no alco, drugs, painkillers...blah blah blah. But pills everyday. Regular sleeping hours, diet...fuck. Am I dying or what? I was fucking furious when I saw the list. How am I supposed to function at my high-level stress job and lead a normal life? How am I supposed to have a wife or a family?
H. Entered and took my bag.
"How're you?"
"Fine" I barked
"Something happened?" He looked at me closely
"No...sorry. Had a tough night." "Ready to go?"
"Yeah."
We were driving in silence.
"Speed, maybe you need some time off?"
"Time off is the worst thing I can think of right now. However I'd like to fly to NY to see Courtney. I'll stay for the weekend and meet her brother and his wife there."
"Oh..sure. Is Harry flying with you?"
"I don't know yet.I suppose he's cleaning my condo before I come back " I smiled
"I' m happy youre coming back. I hope it was the last of your health problems. However I see there's something bothering you".
"Nothing important, H"
I would never tell him about the sleepless night I spent, with a pain in my chest and almost 27 degrees C behind the window...
I will feel better in Nyc with lower temperature.When I opened the door of my condo I saw Harry cleaning.
"I knew I was right" I told him with a smile.
"Why didn't you call me to pick you up, huh?" he said seeing H behind me
"I somehow knew you will be cleaning the flat " I chuckled
"Yeah. It's not so dirty after all.. Lieutenant will you join us at breakfast?"
"Just coffee please".
Harry gave me some salad and poured coffee for both of us.
"I'm going to NYC on Thursday. Are you coming with me?"
"Yeah, why not... Will you be staying at..."
"No" I interrupted him. "Certainly not. I'll be staying at Courtney's brother house. I guess you can stay there too"
"No, I'd stay at Brian's. But maybe I'll visit them one day. I have to take two days off then..."
"Fine. Let me know so I will book a flight for us."
"Would it be a problem if Calleigh came too?"
"No problem for me, bro. I don't know if she's been there as a tourist. We were there together on the case".
"When?"
"I don't know...3 years ago maybe? Ask her. It can be a great idea."
"Coming to a beach party tomorrow,Speed?"
"Kinda. Eric already told me. At 8?"
"Yeah. Harry you're invited too of course" H smiled
"Thanks, Lieutenant. I'll be glad to come. I've been on few, but never at an organized one."
"You'll like it...but you need a strong head or a good excuse to refuse drinking." I laughed.
"That's why we organize it when we work later the next day, or were off" H smiled.
"Oh come oh H...you've got a head for drinking..." I smiled at the thought.
"You too, pal" H smiled back. "However Eric beats both of us"
"Wow... I didn't know that " Harry looked frightened.
"Not mentioning Cal..." I said. "She can drink twice as much as we both and still looks sober ;) so be careful. People say that your real nature is visibly seen when youre drunk, right H?"
"I don't know.I'm very sociable
... and deadly honest. Eric gets freaked out. Cal is a sweet and dangerous southern girl..."
"And you Tim?" Harry asked
"I don't drink much." I said.
"That's true." Said H. "Maybe because you get rebel more than usual then" H. Said
"Who told you that ?"I asked
"Some well informed person" he slightly smiled.
But actually I wasn't happy about that. This had to be Eric and he surely added what happened after one of the blurry, drunk parties one night. Even if the cause was good, the result was a disaster.
"Ok. I need to run and you need to rest Tim."
"Thanks H." He left us with the unspoken thought.
"So...what happened?" Harry said. "That night."
"I'm not sure I wanna tell you that."
"I see that. But that's the thing between bros. They share the secrets."
I wanted to tell him that we actually aren't THAT close, but resisted.
"Well. Let's say that it was really hard to come back home."
"Just that?No big deal...or maybe there's more?"
"I played kinda hero protecting a girl against her abusive partner."
"Oh...that's good I think...I'd do the same. "
"Yeah but got really mad.I started a fight. When I knocked him out I found out he had a lot of friends...They would have beaten me to death if not Eric's badge...
I was furious the next day, because Eric could have lost his job because of me. It was pure luck he had a badge with him, and the guys didn't know us."
"How bad was it?"
"Bad. It was beginning of my days off. I don't remember getting into house. Erictook me to the taxi. I was barely conscious, beaten all over- face, back, hands...I didn't go to work after my days off...went on a sick leave. First time in my life.
That's why I don't drink much.
That's why Eric never proposes more than I want. "
"Oh... "
"Yeah. Stupid, right? And you?"
"I..I slept with a stranger once. I was completely drunk".
"Nah, come on...I did that too"
"Yeah, but without a safety precautions. All the next month I was afraid of her getting pregnant. I don't want any kids."
"Oh, you don't?"
"No. I wouldn't be a good dad".
"Hmm. That's the problem we both have to solve..."
"Maybe you're right to stay away from our twisted parents..."
"You know Harry that this kinda thinking won't be appreciated among the ladies, right?"
"I know. But we are shitty sons and would probably make shitty fathers " he smiled with his head down. When he put it up I saw his tears.
"Don't worry, Harry. Cal is kinda dedicated to her job and prefers career to babies". I lauged out.
"Yeah hope so.What would you do if you've been in such a situation?" he asked abruptly.
"I don't know bro. I've never been. Probably would take the responsibility..."
"Responsibility isn't the synonym of fatherhood, Timo.."
"Yeah. Ok let's leave this topic. Talk to Cal and I'll call Court, ok?"
When I was dialing the number I felt anxious.
"Hi baby. I'm coming on Thursday about 5. Is that ok?"
"I'll get you from the airport ;) "
"Harry is coming with me, but he's gonna stay at his friend's house."
"Ok great.I hope he can join us on dinner."
"How are you?"
"Fine. Better. Today's session was difficult...about Andrew. He helped me to understand that all the feelings I now have are past. Everything wrong went away and is just a memory. And how are you feeling?"
"Better, much better " I lied." I want to see you very much.Oh. what shall I buy for your brother and his wife? A wine?Or champagne?"
"We can buy something together. Andre doesn't drink as she's almost due dated."
SHIT.
"Oh. I didn't know."
"Me neither. Just when I arrived.
Gotta go. See you soon Tim".
"Yeah. Bye."
Gee... I'm in deep shit.a baby to come...maybe the little bug will wait until I leave...