Look At Me -xxxtentacion X reader-

Chapter four.

-Readers POV-

After finally falling asleep at 5am, I ended up getting up at 7am feeling worse. My temperature rose to 104.2° and I had a bad stomach bug, I'm pretty sure. Earlier I ate something at work that started to upset my stomach after a couple minutes, this must be it. It hurts so much. I might have to call in for work tonight. No, I will call in because there is no way in hell that I'll be going in to work looking like a mess and being all disgusting and shit. Yeah, I hate people, but whatever, everyone can usually relate.
I call my work and my manager picks up.

Me: I can't come in to work today, I've got a high fever and a stomach bug.

De: Okay, whatever. I can't even make you work overtime because you already are. Just make sure you're here every day before you leave.

Me: Okay, bye.

I hang up the phone before I had to continue to listen to his grumpy ass. He hates his job and wants to do something different. I told him to quit and do what he likes, but he won't listen to me.
I groaned and sat up. I feel like I need to do something, but I don't want to. Why not exercise? For once in my life, I'll actually exercise.
I grab my phone and connect it to my Bluetooth speaker and play some of Jahseh's music. I start out with some squats, I do 26 of those. Then I do 60 crunches, which killed me, but I did it anyways. Next I did 30 Russian twists, which burned my sides so much, but I know it's doing something. Lastly, I decided to do only 10 press-ups. After that damn stuff, I'm fucking exhausted. I mean, I was after one squat, but after all of that, I am tired.
I shockingly feel a little bit better after that, but I need a shower now. I grab a pair of black underwear with my short, black, Everlast shorts, and also a simple grey tshirt. 
I head into the bathroom and set my stuff on the counter while I shut the door behind me and lock it. I strip my clothes off and turn on the water to decently warm. I've been trying to lower down the temperature of my showers because I read something online that the colder the showers you take, the healthier it is, especially for your hair and I want to make sure my hair stays healthy and good. I have a thing about germs, but I may have to get over that if Jahseh were to ever kiss me, ugh. I need to stop daydreaming and getting my hopes up.
I continue washing my body well while Kill Me comes on to play.

.Lyrics.

"Kill Me"

How's it feel? How's it feel with your broken heart?
Can't reveal, can't reveal all these fucking scars
Hurt me now, kill the pain, this is just the start
Kill me now, numb the pain, I just wanna stop
Run away, run away from my broken heart
Kill me now, numb the pain, this is just the start
Run away, run away from my broken heart
Kill me now, numb the pain, this is just the start
Heart broken, no one can feel me
Heart open, with an incision
You broke it, too many faces running

I sigh as I turn off the water. I don't know why, but that song gets me every time. I step out of the shower and grab a towel from the cabinet to my left. As I get dressed I look into the mirror. I just have a blank look on my face as my eyes scan my own body. It's okay, not the best. I'm not skinny, but I'm not 'fat'. I know that I just don't feel great.
My hands glide along my chest and down my sides and go as far down as they naturally can to touch my thighs. I'm just afraid my appearance will affect how Jahseh sees me, not just physically, but also emotionally/mentally. Whatever I guess.
I don't know why I just got the sudden mood change, but I should cheer up. After I'm done getting dressed I go back into my room and sit at my desk that sits in front of my window. I pull open the blinds open to where light floods in and I can clearly see on the surface of my desk.
I pull out some paper and pencils, pens, and coloured pencils. I love to draw in my spare time and my walls are covered in my own art, as cocky as that sounds.
I start to sketch out a picture of Meg and I smiling like we're posing for a picture and we're wearing matching outfits. We're also at Jahseh's concert and our backs are facing the stage while he's holding up a peace sign and sticking his tongue out behind us. When I finish the sketch I smile at it and start to make the line art.
After 2 hours I finish everything, even the colouring. My hand starts to cramp so I decide to stop drawing for now.
I head downstairs to just relax when Meaghan bursts through my door screeching like the fucking retard she is.

"(y/n)! OH MY GOD I CAN'T! I'M SCREAMING!"

"Yeah, I can fucking tell," I said irritated.

"Daddy noticed me!" She screamed more.

"Jahseh? Stop calling him daddy, you're not his just yet. Wait for the concert Meg."

"Bruh, when we get to the concert. He's yours nigga,"

"White to black in .2 seconds," I said and laughed.

"Whatever, but still!"

"What'd he say to you?"

"Wellllll (y/n), I sent him a picture of us two on Twitter with the caption, "The concert is coming up soon and we'll see you soon too (;" and he liked my tweet and retweeted it!" She tried containing a squeal, but soon let it out and tackled me. I laughed and hugged her tight.

"I'm happy!"

"Still haven't gotten a reply like you have," She frowns. I smirk with the thought of an idea.

"Don't worry. It's almost like 'tomorrow' will be the next chapter of our lives!"

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Well, that's the end of this chapter. I'm sorry if there's some spelling errors. I couldn't find the motivation to finish this chapter yesterday and I think you can tell it kind of sucks. I'm sorry if it does. Another chapter will be up within 4 days or less! Thanks for the support!