Look At Me -xxxtentacion X reader-

Chapter twenty.

-Reader's POV-

I ended up calling in sick the next day for work. I truly didn't feel good, but I did know I wasn't feeling ill. In fact, I was feeling just fine physically. My body wasn't too cold nor too hot, I wasn't coughing from a sickness.. wasn't sneezing from a cold, but I was hurting. Jahseh's next meetup was tomorrow and it will be the last one I'll be able to go to which kind of sucks and I don't even really know if I will be going to that one because of the others as they might not even want to see me. It's all too surreal and I know that something is up. Is this fictional? Is there someone out there writing this.. letting other people read my mind and my actions? No, that can't possibly be true because THAT is fiction. The thought of it did make me shiver though.. shiver with nervousness. 

I didn't realize that I had plenty of money saved up to get a new phone until I went into my bank account and seen that I had more than enough to easily buy it and still have money leftover. So, I get up and get dressed. It's only 11:23am, but the store is open so I might as well just go ahead and do something since I'm bored out of my mind. 

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I've now got a better phone. It works amazingly, hopefully it won't get ruined. As I walk down the street, I add in Meg's number. I text her telling her that this is my new number and phone, but I highly doubt that she will say anything to me. I don't even understand as to why she's so pissed at me. We have been through some of the toughest shit together, but have always forgiven and forgot the shit that happened in the first place that caused us to be mad at each other. Why should she abandon me now? Something is up and I'm not just going to lose her without a reason and I honestly don't care if she ends up not wanting to talk to me anymore. I didn't lose her.. she lost me, but I'm not going to leave things unsolved on a bad note. Eventually, I get back home to my place. What I didn't expect was for Meg to be there.. and Jahseh.

"Uh.. hey?" I asked, a bit confused and dazed. Is this even real? Am I day-dreaming again? I smack myself a little bit harsh, but sure enough.. they're there and real as ever. Meg rolled her eyes.

"I brought him here (y/n) since you took forever and you know how much of an impatient person I am. Solve whatever problem you two have, it's ridiculously stupid. As for Trin, we will talk about him later. Okay?" She says seriously. I just nod. I was actually going to talk to him after he was done with the meetup, but I guess since I have got the chance now I should do it. 

"Thank you Meg.. I also want to talk to you later. I need to apologize to you, but for now I should talk to him.." I say and then head up the stairs and go to my room for some privacy to talk to Jahseh. I shut the door behind us and lock it. My body just moves itself to my bed and makes me sit down. All of the times before when I was around him I had felt confident.. cocky even, but now it's like my body has absolutely no idea what to do. What the hell is this? Why am I just now having to fully face these feelings for Jahseh. I look up at him, into his eyes, but then quickly look away as I realize as that was a bad mistake on my part. It made me blush and become more awkward.  X had the nerve to smirk as he takes a seat next to me.

"Hm, this is a new side to you I haven't got to totally see. Why are you so shy now? You were so cocky and a show-off before," He says as he looks over at me, not being afraid to stare me down. I shrug.

"Maybe it's because I know you like me.." I mumble. "I've said it to myself and I will say it to you. This feels like a dream, like a book. How do we get to talk to each other? How come I was the one to get to know you? Hang out with you? Can you tell me that?" I ask, seriously as I'm now all of the sudden able to look into his eyes without being stupid. He just hums and sits there still for a few seconds as he looks away.

"Can't really give you an answer to that. It just happens sometimes. You also say that like you wish it didn't happen. Is that true?" He asks with a plain face. 

"Half yes and half no. I don't regret meeting you and getting to know you, but I do regret the fact that I'm stressed and I know I'm making it seem like it's the end of the world, but can you blame me?" I say sighing, laying down on my back. I stare at the ceiling as I wait for his response. Jahseh the lays beside me, looking at my face again as I don't look back at him. My heart beats faster,

"Would you rather me leave and not come back?" He asks, but doesn't bother to move himself as I know he already knows the answer himself. 

"I'm sorry.." I say quietly.

"Why is that?" He asks. A new side to him.. he seems more calm.. different.

"I'm so fucking stupid, that's why. I'm so overdramatic," I roll my eyes at myself as I know that is definitely true. Jahseh shakes his head.

"Nah.. go talk to Meg now.. I think we've talked enough. We're good now.." He says as I sit up off my bed at his words. I stand up and head towards my door to leave, but he calls out to me.

"Yes Jah?" I ask, using a simple nickname for him. A tiny, quick, smile appears on his face.

"I like you," He says, himself. I choke on a quick gasp and quickly rush out of my room, hearing his deep laughter come from the other side of my door. Maybe everything is actually coming together. Maybe this is all fake. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

That's the end of this chapter. Sorry for the two-three month wait. I'm still debating on whether or not to keep this book up. I don't know how or why everyone seems to like it, but I mean.. Hey.. if you enjoy it then I guess I might keep it lmao. Updates will still be at random times and will be shorter or longer, just depends on how lazy I am. Sorry not sorry for any errors and mistakes. [Peace]