Her Probation / Paul Lahote

ELEVEN

"Principal Matthews and I understand if you need to take today off" Sue said to Fern, while they sat in Sue's heated car and stared out at the bustling teenagers in the car park.

"It's fine, Sue. I'm fine" Fern insisted, lying straight through her teeth. She had spent the weekend in her room either trying to sleep or reading her English novel, The Great Gatsby. In the morning, Sue had sat beside Fern and attempted to open the conversation about what Fern was going through when she had her panic attack and ran from the old age home. But Fern was not about to discuss the dark thoughts that had been triggered to anyone; partially because they were too difficult to say out loud. Fern had to give Sue credit for driving the conversation the way she did; Sue got straight to the point and gently tried to help Fern open up. Unfortunately, she was working with someone who had constructed very high concrete walls around herself, therefore stumping Sue's hopes at achieving her goal.

On Sunday, Paul had knocked on Fern's bedroom door in the afternoon and leant his shoulder against the doorframe, offering her a small smile. Fern could vividly recall looking up, from her novel, at the Quilete man and feeling a small pang of affection come over her, which had quickly made her nervous. Fern knew better than to become comfortable. Paul had re-offered his invitation to take her to First Beach for some fresh air and walk along the shoreline to help clear her mind. While the idea sounded appealing, Fern was still trying to push away the memories that she had buried of the man with a bullet in his temple and didn't feel safe walking about in the open. Thus, she politely declined. Collin had also come past the house in the late afternoon, bringing some chocolate and gifting it to her. Fern appreciated the efforts that Sue's family was putting in to bring her comfort. Despite the warm feeling she got, Fern delegated an enormous effort to push away those feelings of comfort. She couldn't allow those emotions to impair her focus; for her sake and theirs.

"Okay, try and have a good day," Sue said, her eyes hopeful and hinting worry. "If you change your mind at all, just go to Principal Matthews and ask them to call me. I'll come pick you up." Fern forced a smile.

"I will." She stepped out of the car, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder and took a deep inhale of the cool La Push air, as she begun her way through the car park. Fern dropped one of the shoulder straps of her back and roughly unzipped her bag to pull The Great Gatsby from its confines. She flipped the book to the chapter she was up to and continued to read, as she made her way through the hallways. Fern hadn't thought that she'd enjoy reading as much as she had. Reading allowed her the opportunity to distance herself from her reality and indulge in a whole other word where she could read into the lives of others. When Fern had realised just how disconnected she became from her thoughts, she made the effort to dive deeper into the disconnect by imagining every detail of the characters and their environments. To Fern, the sensation had quickly become very therapeutic.

Just as Fern was reading about the long awaited interaction between Gatsby and Daisy, did she suddenly feel her body collide with someone else's. Fern gasped as she dropped her book and, in the mix-up she felt a sharp pain shoot through her foot, as someone stepped on it.

"God dammit!" She hissed and looked up at the culprit, jumping away from them. The person turned around and looked down at her with little remorse. Fern recognised his face almost instantly.

"Sorry" Finn dryly muttered, leaning down to pick up her book. It was Collin's aggressive friend from the supermarket. Great.