First You Fall

Chapter 21

Maisie spent three days at Kyle's place wallowing in self-pity. She hadn't cried this much since...well ever. She dreaded going home. She dreaded running into anyone who would ask her how excited she was about being engaged.

Maisie needed answers. She wanted to know why Steven had tried to poach Niall from her. She wanted to know if Mere knew about it and if she'd been the one to order Steven to do it. She wanted to know why Janina wasn't answering her texts. And while she couldn't and wouldn't admit it to herself, she did want to know if Niall meant it when he said he was in love with her.

Maisie's confidence was at an all-time low. She had never felt more worthless in her life. But Maisie couldn't acknowledge the one thing she needed to. She knew that the state of her life was entirely her doing. But she couldn't let that in yet. It would mean a complete meltdown.

The only thing that got her to open Kyle's door when the bell rang was the fact that she was starving and there should've been a large pizza behind it. However, Janina's judgmental stare was the only thing waiting for her on the other side of that door. Maisie instantly felt her heart pounding in her chest. Janina looked just as surprised to see Maisie as Maisie was to see her. But all Maisie need do was read Janina's sneer to know exactly how this conversation was going to go,

"You live here now?" Janina asked, sarcasm dripping off of every word.

Maisie shook her head,

"No." She slid her hand onto her hip, the awkwardness crashing into her like a tidal wave, "Just staying here...for awhile."

Janina stepped past her,

"Is Kyle here?"

Maisie shook her head as she closed the door,

"No."

Janina turned around, their eyes meeting in a moment so filled with tension Maisie felt like she could taste it. Janina had never been one to mince words, especially when it came to Maisie. Maisie sighed,

"Janina...I know what you think of me-"

"I don't think anything of you." Janina interrupted, her voice so calm it made Maisie fearful.

Maisie stared at her for a few moments, blinking a couple times before speaking again,

"I didn't - it wasn't -" Maisie stopped, "I'm scared." She finally admitted.

Janina nodded, still calm,

"I bet. I'd be scared too if I were you."

Maisie stopped, her eyes squinting a bit,

"What's that mean?"
Janina folded her arms over her chest,

"It means that Clarice is gone. And I understand that it threw you for a loop. But Maisie, she was not the only person in the world who gave a shit about you. She isn't the only person in the world who you gave a shit about. Although the decisions you've made lately...I could be wrong with that last one."

Maisie took a breath,

"I know that."

"Do you?" Janina asked, her eyes hard but her voice soft, "Because I'm not sure I know the person standing in front of me right now. I remember a conversation we had in college about cheating. Do you remember that conversation?"

Maisie dropped her head. Janina knew about Niall. She guessed everyone knew by now. And she probably deserved that.

"I remember you saying you could never be involved in something like that. How it never turns out the way you think it will. How someone always gets hurt." Janina shrugged, "I know Steven's not the most attentive boyfriend, but he doesn't deserve this."