Not a Monster Anymore (Double Crossed Book 2)

Chapter 11

"Aaaugh!"

I dart up in my bed, not sure if my eyes are opened or closed because of the suffocating darkness around me, since I haven't been awake long enough for my vision- much less my night vision- to be working to it's full potential. I huddle myself into a ball, trying to become as small as possible.

"Shut up, asshole," comes from one of the other cells, but again, it's still too dark to see, so I bunch myself into a corner, breathing heavily. Every time I blink, that monster looks like it's right in front of me, but once I've opened my eyes again it's gone. After a few minutes my night vision has started working, and I can see that the room is empty, though that doesn't ebb the panic.

The taste of blood is still in my mouth, though I know it's not actually there. But the dream was so surreal, and everything feels like it's still happening, or could happen at any moment. That was my first dream- or nightmare, as Dib had called the bad ones. Are they always this vivid? Do humans just learn to deal with it?

My breathing is still heavy, and my pulse is so fast that it feels like it doesn't even take a second to stop- like each beat comes immediately after the other with no in-betweens. My fingers are digging into my arms, but I don't care- the pain is real. The pain keeps me grounded. This is reality. I'm not dreaming anymore. That thought calms me down a bit, and my breathing slows down. I place a hand to my chest to try and calm my pulse.

I know that I should try to go back to sleep, but the memory of the sewn-up monster of Keef and Dib keeps my eyes plastered open, scanning my cell every few seconds. After a couple minutes of nothing, though, my eyelids start to grow heavy.

---

The guard comes to wake us up for breakfast. I step tentatively off of the bed when my cell is unlocked, following the group into the hallway. Sean comes up next to me.

"Hey," he whispers, "I heard you last night."

I tense up. "You..." I mumble, my face heating up with embarrassment, "you did?"

Sean nods. "It's cool. Almost everyone has nightmares on their first night. It's the stress of suddenly being on such a strict schedule."

I nod back, but I don't think that's it. The dream didn't have much to do with the detention center, other than it taking place here. A memory flashes through my mind of Dib saying, "I usually don't get them, but they're triggered by worry or stress." I'm definitely worried about Dib. They didn't tell me why he was in the hospital, just that he was. It could be super serious. And I'm stressed- guilty, more like it- about having killed Keef, and, again, hurting Dib. I remember him running up to me, telling me to calm down, him flying across the room, the sickening crack when he hit the wall-

"Hey, you okay?" Sean asks, placing a hand on my arm as he pushes open the doors of the mess hall. His eyes are wide. "You seem spacey."

"I-I'm fine," I stutter, making my way over to the trays and leaning against the counter for support. My vision is dizzy. I need to know what happened to Dib. Otherwise, this will keep happening. I can't deal with this.