Not a Monster Anymore (Double Crossed Book 2)

Chapter 12

I'm tugged down the halls, the guard's boots hitting against the ground aggressively. My mind is still a blur, running through everything that just happened. That boy triggered something in me. I went insane again, just like with Dib and Keef. And his arm...

I lift my hand to my face as I'm dragged through the detention center. The blood has dried already, sticking my fingers together and becoming cold and stiff. I force my fingers apart, staring as the gore strings between them, falling back to my palm flimsily after a few seconds of attempting to stay up. I can see the nerves and veins in the clump, like worms slithering through mud, dried and hard.

Suddenly, I'm shaken out of my thoughts as the guard shoves me into a room. I turn back and growl, no longer concerned with the whole 'good behavior' thing. I'm pretty sure that won't work anymore. The guard closes the door behind me, leaving me alone in what looks like just another cell.

"What is this?" I demand, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. If I'm going to be forced into a room, I want a good explanation.

"You're dangerous to the other children," the guard says, his voice muffled through the door. "This is solitary."

Solitary? Well, any chance I had of shortening my sentence has just been thrown out the window. This is a big deal. I'd committed a violent crime while already being in a detention center for committing a violent crime. I am totally fucked. How long will I be in solitary? Will my 'life' sentence be extended? Shit, this is bad. What's happening with me? What's causing me to go crazy? I'm not me anymore. Not all the time. I need to fix this.

Until I hear the guard walking away, I lay on the bed, waiting for a chance to figure out what's wrong. I can't just do it manually, I need to have my Pak scan me. Any strange brain waves or something wrong with my body and it's systems will be reported then.

When the guard- finally- leaves, I stand up and check outside, using the little flip hatch on the door. I have to stand on the tips of my feet to see through it, but once I know the coast is clear, I back up, activating my Pak's scanner. It detaches and flies around me for a second before tethering itself back to the wires behind me.

Nothing is wrong with me. Not physically. It's all the same. This is all me. I'm the only one who can control it.

"But... I can't control it," I mumble to myself. That's the thing. I know that I have to, but that doesn't mean I can actually do it. I breathe deeply, closing my eyes. I need to relax. Stress won't make this any easier. I tap my hands against my legs, and my left hand sticks, reminding me that I still have the viscera clumped in my palm. I lift it again to my face, hating that I still have it, and that I attained it in the first place. I scrape it off with my right hand's claws, not managing to get it all off, but most of it has ended up on the floor. I sigh. I can't even wash my damn hands.

Wait, yes I can. The paste injection device is still connected to my Pak. God, have I really forgotten about that the whole time? I feel so stupid, but decide to blame my ignorance on the forgotten two-week trip that left me disoriented.

A few minutes later, the guard returns to escort me into the mess hall. I feel strange walking through the halls without the other kids, but at least I get to eat dinner normally. I'd missed lunch because of the whole arm incident, though I'm not hungry. I don't get hungry.