Bittersweet Coffee (DEH:Treebros)

Chapter Nine: Under-the-Door Notes

Evan bent over, hugging his knees, struggling to regulate his breathing as he sat on the bathroom floor. He felt like he was breathing all wrong, beginning to gasp like there's not enough oxygen in the air reaching his wheezing lungs.  It was like an invisible hand clasped over Evan's mouth; an equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierced his heart, unloading in an instant. Evan felt his ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate his struggling, weak lungs. His head was a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing his mind into blackness. He wanted to run; to disappear. Sounds that were near feel far away, like he's no longer in the body that lies paralyzed on the bathroom floor.

The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was just gone. Evan paused trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside him but he couldn't. A lone tear traced down his rosy cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face. Evan's chin trembled, breathing heavier than he had ever before. He was gasping for air that simply wasn't there. His throat burned forming a silent scream. Is this what crying felt like? A part of Evan dying inside yet...

Relief.

He tugged and pulled on the apron, struggling to get it off in the midst of his fit, which only irritated him more.

God. He couldn't do anything right.

Suddenly a knock was heard, making Evan jump.

The knock came quietly first and then there was silence. There was a pause before it happened again. The knock was louder and faster this time. Evan stared at the door, unmoving.

"Uhm... Hey, I was kinda sent here..." A voice came from the other side, but Evan didn't reply. He recognized the voice and Evan didn't want them to see him like this.

He didn't want Connor to see him like this.

The man on the other side was furious now and hit the door with great strength.

"Okay, I'm really trying here!" Connor snapped, before a deep breath was heard followed by a sigh, "I'm... I'm sorry, I'm just..." a pause, "Concerned."

Evan stayed silent.

"Could you at least let me in and not ignore me??" Connor asked, obviously irritated.

Evan shook his head even though he knew Connor couldn't see him. He looked down at his apron before seeing the small notebook he used to write orders on, tucked away in a pocket along with a pen. He took the paper and pen, flipping to a new page of the notebook and began writing.

'I don't want to open the door, everyone will see me'

He slid the book and pen underneath the door, hoping Connor would notice it.

Evan listened intently, trying to figure out what was happening on the other side. There was a small shuffle before hearing someone write on the paper and slide the notebook and pen past the door, back to Evan. It read:

'I̶ ̶a̶m̶    We are all worried about you' the first few words scribbled out.

'I'll be fine'

'You obviously aren't fine'

'it doesn't matter'

'it does. can I come in and we can talk about it?'

'no'

'Evan, please'

'no'

'what if we went somewhere else? like your house or the park?'

(Evan flipped to the next page of the notebook since they ran out of space)

'that means I have to come out of the washroom and everyone will see me as we leave'

'what if we went through the back of the cafe?'

'they'll still see me'

'I can give you my hoodie and you can cover yourself'

'are you sure?'

'if it gets you out of this washroom, then yes. I'll knock on the door when you can come out'

'what about work? is Alana okay alone?'

'Yeah she said she'll be fine and that Jared is now forced to help her lol'

Evan quietly chuckled under his breath before he tucked the notebook away and waited patiently for the knock, wiping his reddend face with his t-shirt.

More shuffling was heard and then two soft knocks against the wooden bathroom door.

Hesitantly, Evan reached for the door's handle, still sweaty and shaking. He unlocked the door, opening it slowly. He peaked through the crack of the open exit, Evan's eyes meeting eyes with a familiar figure, a weak smile sprawling across his face.

Connor returned the smile. He was only wearing a light gray long-sleeve, holding out his large black sweater. Evan carefully took it, closing the bathroom door momentarily as he got the hoodie on. It was much larger in size than Evan expected and was very comfy and still warm from Connor's body heat.

Evan pulled the hood over his head before reopening the door fully and stepping in front of Connor, still trying to hide his face. Connor chuckled dryly, waiting for Evan to look at him.

Connor's eyes showed the kind of gentle concern a good friend would have. He laid his hand lightly on Evan's shoulder, and instead of flinching like Evan usually did, he was soothed by it. Connor left his hand there and spoke with such a soft voice that Evan felt Connor's words calming him more by the way they were said than the actual words. It felt as if Evan were wrapped in a blanket of Connor's caring. How could Evan not consider his feelings now, now that he could see how profoundly they effected Connor too.

"So what do you say?" Connor asked.

Oh gosh, Evan was too busy admiring Connor's concern that he hadn't paid attention to what Connor was actually saying.

Beginning to panic, Evan decided he should take some old advice Jared gave him and just nod, and that's what Evan did. He nodded slowly, unsure about what he was agreeing with.

"Okay, sounds good," Connor said before taking Evan's hand and going through the back of the cafe to the exit.

I guess now Evan is getting a surprise to look forward to!

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YOU GUYS GOT ME SHO0K, 390 READS IM--

wHy I legit have like no plot to this I'm so sorry lmAO and I usually write most of this at 1am lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[it's 1:28am, pray for me] (edit: I had to update that timing from 1:09 to 1:17 to 1:28am because apparently my body does not accept sleep--)

I'm just praying that when school starts I can still be doing this since I actually e n j o y this unlike school,,,

also if I don't update this just like nag me in the comments or something idk lol

[pls talk to me I'm lonely--]

also my instagram is void.ca if you didn't know so pls talk to this lonely, desperate human being

well thanks for the people that actually read my rambling, love you guys now imma try to get some sleep lol