The List

SUMMARY:

"When he loves, he loves without reservation, he loves so deeply that he's terrified of losing those special people in his life. But he loves me differently. He might love me so much that he's pushed me away in the justification that this way— he'll never lose me.

"But he lost me."

Alice tutors, that what she does, and that's probably what she always would've done if she didn't start tutoring him: Ryder Thompson, the school's biggest partier, and kindest person. It was easy for her to agree to tutoring him, but it wasn't easy for her when Ryder consequently found her list comprising of the 13 things she thought was crucial to complete before senior year before their very first tutoring session, and then demanded he help her with it. And it wasn't easy for Alice when the one thing she wasn't aiming to achieve manifested itself in her life- love, with an unexpected boy.

EPIGRAPH:

"I can't go back to yesterday because

I was a different person then."

-alice, alice in wonderland

SOUNDTRACK:

Girls Talk Boys // 5 Seconds of Summer

Dancing Queen // ABBA

Your Number REMIX // Ayo Jay, Chris Brown, Kid Ink

3005 // Childish Gambino

You & Me (Flume Remix) // Disclousure, Eliza Doolittle, Flume

Love Me Tender // Elvis Presley

Clumsy // Fergie

Nights // Frank Ocean

Kiwi // Harry Styles

New Day // JAY Z & Kanye West

Good Life // Kanye West

Slow it Down // The Lumineers

Girls That Dance // Masego, Medasin

Lovesick // Mura Masa

If I Could Fly // One Direction

Pendulum (Jambe-an Riddim) // Shane Hoosong

LUV // Tory Lanez

FOOLS //  Troye Sivan

I Feel It Coming // The Weeknd, Daft Punk

The Hills // The Weeknd

Take on the World // You Me at Six

INTRODUCTION:

let's get one thing out of the way shall we? i'm not a perfect writer, so if you see anything out of place that needs to be fixed, let a gyal know, i won't get offended, i have tough skin <3 i'm the same with criticism— throw it my way.

what i won't tolerate however is: hate targeted at marginalized groups (i couldn't give two fucks if you hated a character, sometimes they're written to be hated, but i will mind if you target a particular character because their skin is a darker color, because their sexuality isn't straight, same goes for disabilities and anything else that falls into those categories). that being said, don't be a little shit. if this book ever takes off and we have communication between readers in the comments, don't be that person that attacks another reader for anything. that is bullying and i will not tolerate it.

we're all friends here!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

but yeah! tear up at my characters and plot holes and poor writing, it's fine! i know i'm a mediocre writer and i'm constantly working to be better. just don't tell me to kill myself, that shit doesn't fly here. my character's aren't perfect either. they make mistakes (sometimes big ones), are little shits, and sometimes are so incredibly stupid i say "why" to my computer screen, i know. they're written to be that way, keep in mind they're young teenagers and aren't exactly sure what they're doing, they're just trying their best.

damn i rlly sound serious in those first four paragraphs huh. okay, now that that's over, let me introduce you to my baby: the list. this book is my fucking heart and soul and i adore the characters and the story with my whole fucking heart. this story follows three main characters: ryder, alice, and eros, and they're all incredibly damaged with good reason. i wanted a love story that touched on these taboo topics, i wanted to write a story in which these characters had safe places to disclose their pain, and i hope i achieved that. it's about self-discovery and friendship and family and the struggles of a daily teenager.

it's so much more than just a boy-meets-girl love story.

i hope you love reading this story as much as i did writing it. i hope you stick around to see them getting their happy endings.

i love you guys with my whole heart.