The List

chapter 29

"Fucky-fuck-fuck!" My feet bounded down the stairs, shoes in hand, bag badly secured between my jaws. "Angelica are you down yet?" I screamed up the stairs in a muffled voice, tumbling into the kitchen at full speed.

Of course I had to wake up late the first day after spring break. And, of course it had to be after Henry and I fooled around and then drove to the airport, at you know, 4 in the morning.

Looking back on it, it definitely wasn't my brightest moment— but it was definitely worth it.

I opened my mouth and let my bag drop to the floor, shoving one foot into a sneaker, my hand taking hold of the fridge handle, pulling it open and grabbing two apples for Angelica and I— it wasn't a lot but it'd have to be sufficient enough.

"What are you guys still doing home?"

I jumped, and turned around startled to become face to face with my father. He leant against the island, sipping on a mug that was steaming, the scent of coffee lofting in the air. He regarded me with a raise of his eyebrows.

He looked good, healthy even.

"I could ask you the same," I shut the fridge door and placed the apples down, screaming again, "Angelica, I have a test second period that I can't miss, get down here!"

My eyes narrowed at him, involuntarily.

"Yeah! Be down in thirty seconds!"

I didn't want Angelica's hopes to get up, about our father. Just because he wasn't making a mess anymore and was making us coffee every morning did not suddenly mean that he was forgiven, that all the years of abandonment were forgotten.

We were scarred, and I wasn't ready just yet to let go of that.

"I'm out to court today and didn't need to stop by the office first, wanted to eat a real breakfast," with a flourish of his hands, he pointed to the bacon and eggs on the plate he was eating from surrounded by files for his case. "There's some in the pan if you'd like."

With a flat tone, I replied, "I'm vegetarian but thanks."

He grimaced, as if he knew this little factoid that I knew for certain, he did not know. I became vegetarian my first year of high school, back when he ignored the crap out of us.

"I forgot, sorry."

Angelica rushed into the kitchen, smiled at me and then her eyes widened at the sight of the man at the island. "Dad!" She exclaimed. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

He shrugged. "There's some food in the pan if you want and you guys' coffee is on the counter behind Alice."

She beamed and grabbed a slice of bacon, popping it into her mouth.

The frown on my mouth deepened, but I supposed I had to at least try to understand. I think, no matter how old we got, Angelica always wanted a parent. She didn't want some half-assed attempt at parenting that I or our grandmother attempted. She wanted the real thing.

She wanted her dad.

So anytime our father got even close to resembling that, she fell for it.

I clapped my hands together. "Nice family gathering but Angelica and I need to get to school," I waved with a polite smile. "Bye Dad!"

He returned my awkward smile, which grew into a genuine one when Angelica threw her arms around him and speeded off without any words, more than likely embarrassed to have me see that.

I was embarrassed to see that.

Giving our father one last glance, I grabbed the coffee cups and followed her outside. I dangled the keys on my fingers, looking at her warily. "Please don't kill us."