Texts By Ninjago

hi<3

i'm so sorry for not being on! i'm so busy with university and i just bought a place in Scotland! i guess i should update you guys a bit since i haven't really talked about me, Zero the author!

i use writing as a form of therapy, which most people do ahaha. i've had a lot on my chest the past few months and i would like to just write it all out. i'm not looking for sympathy, that's the last thing that i want. i don't want any attention either, this is just my therapy and if i don't get this off of my chest i might go insane. you can skip all of this if you want, but i just need to write this down for me.

i don't know if you remember me talking about her, but i used to date a girl named Xera. she also writes stories on here and is incredibly talented. i used to date Xera, i had dated her for years it feels like and we both loved each other so much. of course, life isn't like a perfect fairy-tale and we had broken up around the beginning of May. we were good friends until the end of May when i started to get close with Thomas, one of our guy friends that we had met over instagram. both Xera and i have been friends with Thomas for over five years now, so we've all visited each other and made a strong bond over the years. Thomas had understood why we broke up, unlike the rest of my mates, so we talked more than usual because of that. Xera felt offended and lied to since she had thought we liked each other (i had told Xera that i only liked girls and was gay or a lesbian, but a lot changes in seven years. five years as mates and like two as girlfriends). over the years i realized that i didn't want to label myself as lesbian because i had realized that i was equally as attracted to girls as i was boys. that realization happened towards the end of the relationship so i just hadn't told Xera because we were already on rocky waters. i now realize that i should've told Xera, but why am i the "evil" one, as she said, when she was the one to mess around with my best mate at the time? why am i so rude to not explain an inner personal struggle i was having with her? that was my personal thing and i did not have to explain that with anyone until i figured it out. so, Xera, you can mess around with my mate and i am able to forgive you, but you can't just realize that i meant no harm by not telling you?

anyway, with the whole Thomas thing he had asked me out in the middle of June and since i took the accelerated grad class, i have officially graduated high school and am moving to Scotland to be with him. i am the happiest i've ever been thanks to Thomas. i mean nothing against Xera and i understand that we were just not meant to be. i hope she finds someone that she's happy with and lives an amazing life wherever she decides to go.

i guess this is more of me saying i'm sorry, Xera. i'm sorry for whatever i've done wrong, but now it doesn't matter because i'm on the plane to Scotland and whatever we haven't resolved stays in the past, but isn't forgotten because you were my first love.

now to Thomas, i can't wait for what the future has in store for us.