Becoming Robin (Book 2)

» 11: Let Go..

"I'm not letting you hand yourself over to Deathstroke." He stated.

"How do you know about that?" I asked, shrugging off his hand.

"You were saying a lot while under the influence of Scarecrows fear toxin." He admitted. "We all heard. Deathstroke is threatening you with our lives."

I silently cursed myself, averting my gaze to the ground; fists clenching harder.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He pressed on, "we could have dealt with this sooner."

"I didn't know how." I admitted, giving him a sad smile. "Or maybe it was more I thought I could handle it myself." I took a couple steps back and leaned against a wall.

"You should know better than to take things on by yourself." He stated, a slight scolding in his tone. "The League and team were created for the sole purpose of helping not only the people but each other."

"Helping is what got all of you dragged into this in the first place." I immediately snapped, before letting out a quick sigh. Rubbing at my face. "Sometimes it's best for everyone if you look the other way in some cases."

"Dick that's not true." He pressed on. My frown deepened. What is with hero's feeling the need to save everyone..? It's all so ridiculous.

I drew out another shaky sigh, letting my back press further into the destroyed wall I was sitting against. The back of my head gently pressing against the cold stone as I gazed tiredly up at the night sky. "You should never have saved me from that fire." I stated, the lenses of my mask narrowing slightly.

"Don't you dare say that." His gruff voice snapped. I moved my gaze to look at him. "Saving you from that fire-" He stopped a moment before continuing. "It was the best decision I had ever made. So don't you dare say that."

"I'm only saying what needs to be said," I spoke back, ignoring the pressure building up behind my eyes. "None of this would be happening if you had just let me die. Deathstroke wouldn't be after me and none of you would be in any danger."

"Dick-"

"You would all be safe! None of you would be here right now risking your lives! This is all happening because of me!-"

He immediately had a handful of my shirt, lifting me off the ground so I was level with him. His body shaking in what I could only identify as rage as he spoke. "I don't care about what happened with Deathstroke!" He yelled. "I'm not mad about that, I could never be mad about something you can't control!"

"Well, you should be," I replied, gripping his wrist. "Stop lying to yourself and admit that I am the core of all your problems right now."

"The only one lying to themselves is you!" He shot back. "Look past all of this. At all the good you've done!"

"Like what?!" I snapped back "I'm not lying to myself." His grip loosened slightly. "Every single word I'm saying is the truth. This whole 'saving everybody' act you have going on is ridiculous! For all of you hero's!"

He remained silent. Finally dropping me. "I can't let you do that." He stated. "Dick, why don't you understand how important you are to everyone here?"

I looked away, my frown deepening. "Bruce.." I spoke quietly. My mind felt like it was racing as I thought everything over. People will get hurt if I stay here. Anyone is a target. The most logical thing to do would be to hand myself over right? I couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous all of this was. "I don't know what you want me to do.." I admitted, finally looking at him once more. "I'm not like any of you. I would never save one person over the safety of others." He remained silent as I continued. "I mean, what hero would think like that?! None! Can't you understand that keeping me here is toxic?!"

I breathed heavily a moment as I took a few small paces. "I mean, come on man! Think about it!" I couldn't stop my desperate smile as I continued. "I'm not a hero, hell! I would probably fit in better with Deathstrokes bunch anyway! You've seen it first hand what I am truly like! I lied and stole. Hell, I ruined others lives just to protect my own! What about that sounds fucking heroic to you?!"

"You did what you needed to survive." Batman stated. "You were young and alone. That was the only way you could think of to survive. No one blames you for that."

"No. No. I had other choices. Yet I didn't try to do anything else!" I pressed. He took another step towards me, but I immediately backed up.

"Dick, listen to me-" He began, but we both stopped when another loud bang rang out through the building. I looked around and felt my heart turn to ice as it felt impossible to breathe.

My gaze locked with his. That taunting eye looking at me through that damn orange and black mask. I remained frozen as he turned around and walked away, his back the last thing I saw disappear into the darkness. "Look, we can talk about this after we take care of everything here." Batman stated, as he seemed to be listening to something over his comm.

But my mind was racing once more as it felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest. And without even thinking, I had lunged at Batman, now more desperate than before to put an end to all of this and just hand myself over.

- To Be Continued -