Mafia Lovers~ Forbidden Lovers (BoyxBoy)

You- Me- Us- Together

I woke up in a familiar room. A familiar bed. A familiar house. But the one thing that made it home was gone. Gone forever all because of me. I should have saved him. I should have fought for him to stay. I should have dropped him off at Tino’s and then picked him up once we were done. I should have done so many things but none of it mattered.

My baby brother was gone.

Dead.

Deceased.

I rolled over in my bed and found it empty. I had come up the stairs like a zombie after I had gotten back from the hospital. Nothing came into the shell that had become my body. Nothing stuck or stayed. Nothing mattered. Gio had followed me and when I got to my door, he touched my shoulder and I yanked away from him.

“Leave me alone, Gio. I need space from your bullshit right now,” I hissed with such hate in my voice he winced. I slammed the door in his face and went to the bathroom and got in the shower fully clothed. I turned skin boiling water on and sat there trying to feel something.

Anything.

Now that I looked at the empty spot however, I craved for his slightly smaller body to be against mine. I craved to touch him and hold him. I craved that kiss we never shared. I craved him but I couldn’t go to him. He would only make the pain worst.

I sat up in bed and put my face in my hands. Tommy wouldn’t want me to be like this, but isn’t that such a fuckin cliché? The person that can no longer tell you anything presumably wants you to be happy without them. What-the mother fucking-ever.

I got out of the bed and slowly opened my door. I walked down the hall to the door with a ‘Beware of Zombies’ sign on the door and slowly pried it open. My heart sped up as I took my fist step over the threshold. 

His clothes were fucking everywhere. On the floor, on the bed, on the chairs, on the damn ceiling fan. He was such a slob it was funny. I kicked a cup out of my way and made my path toward his bed by kicking random crap away from my feet. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were actually zombies in here.

I sat down on his water bed and laughed at the memory of when he first got it. He jumped on it with his brown curls bouncing up and down as his body made fluid motions. He had the biggest smile on his face as he moaned in pleasure. That beautiful smile was like a hundred bucks. No it was fucking priceless.

That smile I could never see again.

“Tommy,” I whispered as tears formed. “Baby brother, I let you down. All you said to me was that you trusted me and you knew I would protect you and now you’re gone. You’re gone forever.” I laid down on the squishy bed and imagined what he felt like when he laid here every night.

Did he dream of the life or did he dream of having another? Did he dream about running away to join the circus or did he dream of becoming a doctor? Did he pray every night like I once had or did he sit there staring at the ceiling waiting for the answers to come to him?

What was my baby brother really like on the inside?

It was too late to ever find out.

I jerked up and a lamp that had been placed beside his bed smashed on the floor making a vision of a bullet flying past my head come in to my mind. I jumped off of the bed and covered my ears as the assault happened all over again.

“Tommy! Tommy!” I screamed so loud but the bullets shattering the earth around me were just too loud for him to hear me. I wish he could just hear me. Why can’t he hear me!?

I grabbed the shelf next to his bed and threw it across the room. The crack in the plaster made the bullets louder and I just wanted it to stop. I grabbed everything in my premises and threw it as far as I could I grabbed the gun under his pillow and shot the water bed over and over until the water came out just like Tommy’s blodd had. I shot the T.V. next because in it I saw the monster I was becoming.