Psychosis || Grayson Dolan - Book One

VI

Grayson's POV

Part of me wanted to tell her. Part of me didn't. It's like that tiny sliver of your conscience that screams, 'don't do it!'

"What, you haven't seen my file?" I grow more confused. If she's Bettleman's assistant, why has she seen other files and not mine?

Do i really want her to see it, though? No.

She sighs, "no. Dr. Bettleman said he'd like to keep your information private" a frown etches itself onto her face. God, she's beautiful.

"Well then don't worry about how i killed them" i say coldly. Her eyes drop to focus on my free hands on top of the desk, i put my head down briefly. Her mind is probably running wild with how i'm probably thinking of ways to kill her. Which, i'm not.

"You should be" he never shuts up.

"Would you ever kill me?"

I raise my head, eyeing her from my slightly hunched-over position. She seems frightened, like my silence was an answer for her. It shouldn't be. I'd never lay a hand on her, or anyone else unless they hurt me.

"Let's test that theory out, shall we?"

What?

"She likes your brother. Not you. How could she love someone who kills?"

You're lying.

"G-rayson?" Her soft voice fills my head. Her eyes are filled to the brim with fear. They flick down to look at my hands, which were gripping each other so tight my knuckles were ghost white, my fingers turning purple from the blockage of circulation.

I release them immediately, feeling my hands return to normalcy.

Where the hell is Dirk?

Your POV

The silence was deafening. Grayson could probably hear your heart hammering in your chest. You hoped he couldn't, but being in the same room as a murderer who would kill you without a second thought, is quite alarming.

"I'd never hurt someone who didn't hurt me" he speaks softly. So soft, you could swear you heard actual... emotion in his voice. You studied him; body language, eye movements, hands, anything visible to you.

Taking in the information, you ask, "so... the people you killed? They... hurt you?" He nods slowly, his eyes burning holes into yours.

You absentmindedly pull your lip between your teeth, biting down on it out of anxiousness. You didn't notice until he pointed it out.

"Stop that" he growls, leaning forward in his seat, his hazel orbs fixated on you and only you. You must've looked as confused as you felt, because he elaborated, "the lip biting" he points lazily at your lips, looking down at them. "It drives me fucking crazy" he says more quietly.

You immediately stop, not wanting him to develop an attachment to seeing you bite your lip. Also not wanting him to lunge at you with a pair of scissors. You glance to your left, noticing his file, in plain sight. The brownish paper folder, holding all of Dolan's secrets. His dark past crimes.

"Go for it" he eggs you on, following your gaze.

"A-are you sure?"

"Who am i to stop your curiosity?"

You take in his words, slowly creeping your hand to the folder. The cold surface sends chills throughout your fingertips. You pull the file in front of you and open it, seeing Dolan's mugshot from when he was arrested for murder. The fact that the person in this file was in front of you, a mere three feet, was surreal.

"You're twenty-two?" He nods. "Grayson Bailey Dolan" you whisper, thinking you've heard the name before, but you weren't entirely sure. You read on about his background, noticing he's from New Jersey. "How did you get to Nevada if you're from New Jers-"

"They transported me here after court. Thought it was the 'best fit'" he air quotes. A small smile takes over your lips.

"Six foot, one inch" you say, believing it. He's a tall man.

"Not just in height" he jokes, making your stomach twist in a weird sense. "But they didn't measure that for my file..."

He just made a penis joke.

You let out a small laugh, looking at him. He smiles at you, revealing his perfect teeth. He'd be perfect if he wasn't insane.

You continue to read the file, getting to the end of his background information. You swallow the fear rising in your throat as you turn the page, seeing pictures of two dead bodies. You screw your eyes shut, turning passed all of them to the typed police report of the murders. You couldn't bear to see what he had done.

"Dolan lashed out on the two victims- Saturday night, September twenty-first, nine pm- Stacey Adams and Troy Beckan" you notice him adjust his seating out of your peripheral vision. You clear your throat, looking up at him "i don't have to keep readin-"

"It's fine" he dismisses you, leaning his back against the chair, spreading out. His face was now cold and dark, matching his eyes.

You return your attention to the file and continue to read, "Miss Adams and Mr. Beckan were in Miss Adams' house where the murder took place. They were having an affair, according to Dolan and the victim's close friends. Dolan and Adams were together for three years, engaged to be married in mid-2017." You felt sadness rush over the nerves in your body. You felt awful.

"Dolan discovered Adams and Beckan in bed together that night, triggering his deathly side" you read on, noticing a change in his body language. He looked guilty, but he had no remorse on his face. "Beckan was stabbed repeatedly, seventeen times, in the chest" your hand flies up to your mouth, a few tears stinging your eyes.

Grayson's POV

Why am i letting her read this? Probably because i want her to know... i want her to know how crazy i am. How insane i can be.

She reads on, her hand covering her mouth, causing her to trail off at some parts. "Miss Adams was bound to a chair by rope..." i remember that clearly.

The dark wood was hard to tie the rope to. But i did it.

"...she was quieted with a bandana around her head, between her teeth."

That was my favorite bandana.

"Dolan cut off Miss Adams' oxygen, not suffocating her completely. She was murdered ny asphyxiation by a tourniquet, causing her body to convulse for a few hours until death-" her hands leave the file's cold white paper. She closes the file and looks at me, her eyes are red and glossy.

"Are you afraid of me now?"

This could be my downfall. Right now, this moment. She could be afraid of me. She could never want to see me again.

She could end up like Katrina... and leave me.

"She left because you scared her" he tells me.

It was the truth. I told Katrina it was okay. I told her i would never hurt her. I told her i... loved her. But when it came down to it, i never actually did. She snuck into my cell the one night and we had sex. Afterwards, we got into an argument and i nearly strangled her to death because he told me to.

"Damn right i did."

I've never been so nervous to hear what someone had to say, if she had anything to say at all. Turns out, she did, "only if i hurt you, right?" I nod, feeling as if this were a deal. She stays on my good side, she lives. She crosses me, she dies. "Then no. I'm not afraid of you" her words caused my heart to beat fast.

I hate this feeling.

Word count: 1283