In My Mind Only (Frerard)

Gerard Way is a Hopeless Romantic

It's March now. Three months since Frank last dismissed his cadets. I've tried to ignore Frank's absence, but I find that it's really hard. Before, I was so angry with him, and I thought that now that he's gone, I could just forget about him and focus on Ray, but it's even harder than I ever imagined. I sigh in frustration as I look down at my phone at the last messages I tried sending him.

Me: How is the new school, Frankie?

That was a few days after he left.

Me: I hope you're doing okay.

That was a few weeks ago.

He never answered them, naturally. I wasn't expecting one. It was the way he was. I stared down at my own copy of the Wizard of Oz in my hands and tossed it on the couch beside me. There was nothing tying us together anymore. I wasn't going to see him unless he allowed it. I could search and search and search and he'd be like a ghost. He wouldn't reveal himself to me unless it felt it was necessary. I suppose it's all for the best though. He and I were too different.

Ray and I have gotten closer. There have been a few times where we have almost kissed, but we stopped just before our lips touched. Although it's slightly frustrating, I understand that I have to wait. I check the time on my phone. It's almost time to pick up Ray. Yesterday, he asked if I wanted to spend some time together. I normally don't do anything on Sundays except for relaxing, but I wouldn't mind spending the time with him. I pulled on some nicer looking clothes, grabbed the things I needed, and grabbed my keys before heading out the door.

On the drive over, I wanted so badly to listen to my Beatles album, but I would have too many memories of that short little bastard in my mind. I took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the rising anger inside of me as I came to a stop a block away from his house. Ray came outside, waving at my happily. I waved back and, this time, I allowed him to get inside. I'm pretty cautious this close to his home.

"So where did you want to go?" He asked. I smiled.

"Don't worry. I have the entire day planned out for us. Leave it all up to me!" I said. He was silent for a moment, before finally speaking.

"How are you single?" He asked. The question caught me off guard, but I had an answer.

"Well, as you can probably tell, this town isn't the kindest toward gay people. You saw how they treated Frank." He tensed at his name.

"I wonder how he's doing wherever he's at," he spoke softly. I reached over and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. He squeezed back.

"So, other than Jealousy, what happened between you two?" I asked. He shrugged.

"He tried winning me back. I'll tell you, Gerard, he is a persistent little bastard," he laughed. I nodded in agreement, because it was true.

"Eventually it became too much, and I couldn't stand it. I wanted him to stop. So that's how I came to being a complete asshole to him. It was just to make him stop. I feel terrible about it, because eventually, it became habit. I didn't have to keep doing it and I did..." He mumbled sadly. I squeezed his hand tightly.

"I'm sure he isn't holding a grudge. He doesn't seem like the type," I said. It was true. He only really held terrible feelings for his parents. He loves Ray.

"You don't know Frank..." He mumbled. I wanted to chuckle, because I knew him more than he did. "His parents were terrible to him. I went over to his house once and I spent the night there. We were, like, 13 and he made us dinner, Gerard. I'm not talking about the warm up some mac and cheese, I'm talking, like, he used spices and did some professional shit. They had all this fancy looking food, if I can even call it that and so that's what we ate. It was good, I remember that. Anyway, we were watching movies in the living until about two in the morning when his parents came home," he said as he looked out of his window. I listened closely, not wanting to miss out on anything about Frank.