In My Mind Only (Frerard)

Nothing Has A Point (Liar)

I slowly walked around the classroom I was assigned to test in. It was the end of the year test, and the kids were soon to begin turning their tests in. The history test never really took too long, which was fine by me, honestly. No offense to history or anything, but sitting in a completely silent room with twenty students who are beyond uncomfortable with the situation as well is in no way ideal. I circled the classroom once more before taking a seat at the desk. I hated doing those rounds, because I know it made the students tense up. It could easily trigger an anxiety attack because they were being watched so closely; it used to do that to me. But I was required to do so. Finally, after sitting for twenty minutes, the first student raises their hand and holds up their test along with the bubble sheet. After that, the next four hours goes by the same. By lunch time, all the kids in my classroom were finished testing.

"All right, all right, settle down. We had a deal guys. You could talk, so long as it was done quietly," I reminded them when they started getting a bit too loud for my liking. They all mumbled apologies and carried on, quieter than before. I was eating my own lunch silently by the window in the classroom, staring out into the grey skies; I found that I'd been doing that often for the past two months. I became less enthusiastic when teaching, causing the easy-going atmosphere of my classroom to become depressing. I didn't even want to be in the same room as myself, so why would the kids want to?

Other than the long, bittersweet kiss shared by Frank and I, no words were exchanged as we parted ways. My relationship with Ray was still going. In fact, today we were going on a date, but that wasn't why I was in a better mood than usual. Today was the 21st of the month. Every month, on this day, I would get a message from Frank. Yes, we'd promised not to talk to one another, but I had him make me a deal.

"Let me know you're alive every month on the same day and I won't go looking for you."

He responded with a simple, "What if I want you to come looking for me?"

I merely smiled and took his hand, "Then you know what to do."

So the last two months, now going on three, he would message me a simple: "Alive and well." And that was that. Even though I was extremely tempted to message back, I never let myself. I know he understood, because he'd always been an understanding person.

"Mr. Way?" I heard a voice ask. I snapped out of my thoughts and tore my eyes away from the sky to the owner of the voice.

"Yes, Lindsey?" I raised a brow. She pulled a seat up next to my desk and gave me a smile.

"I just wanted to sit with you. You look so hurt. Are you and your boyfriend doing okay?" She asked very quietly, cautious of the other kids near. They weren't paying any attention to us, which was relieving. I looked into her eyes, causing her to flinch. I suppose my look has gotten cold? I shrugged my shoulders to answer her question, taking another bite of my barely eaten sandwich.

"Mr. Way, you look very, well, deprived, for lack of a better word. I know I'm just a student to you, but I am also a person who feels things. If you need someone to talk to, someone who won't spread shit, then you can always come to me," she said, taking a drink of her chocolate milk. Her words didn't faze me much.

"It'd be inappropriate to share my personal life with you, Ms. Ballato," I said.

"Why is that? Because I'm 17 and you teach me English? Then would it be considered wrong for an elderly person to pass down their words of wisdom to me at the nursing home I visit because of that reason?" She challenged.

"It's my secret, Lindsey," I said, leaning toward her. "And it's fucked up," I whispered in her ear. She sat up straighter, nodding her head understandingly. Before she could answer, I changed the subject.