In My Mind Only (Frerard)

Alive and Well?

Frank and I stared at one another in silence. I had my arms crossed over my chest and was tapping my left foot slightly. I had a stern look on my face, I made sure of that. He stared up at me, looking so small. His eyes look sunk in and his cheek bones were poking out too much. His hospital gown was falling over his frail shoulder, which next lead me to notice how much his collarbones were noticeable.

"Alive and well?" I asked. My heart was falling right out of my chest just looking at his fragile state, but I was still angry. He could've died and...and I wouldn't have even realized how much he needed me. I felt my eyes starting to tear up, but bit my lip to hold them in and will them away.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," he stated weakly. I sighed and walked over to him, taking a seat on the edge of the hospital bed. I took his hand and kissed it softly.

"Frank, let me take care of you," I said. I wasn't taking no for an answer. He sighed and nodded his head.

"I was about to ask you. Um, my recruiter told me that my drop in weight was a problem. I have to meet a certain weight in order to enter in Infantry. I need you to help me. I know you have problems with my choice in career, but, please, Gerard. This is my dream, and I want the man I love to help me in achieving my goals." I squeezed his hand tighter. The look in his eyes was full of nothing but love and determination. Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to help him leave me? No, but I wanted to help him in finding his happiness, so I bit back my own sadness and nodded my head, smiling at him. And you know what? The smile I got in return made it all worth it.

"I love you," he whispered, sleepily. I stroked the side of his head, running my hands through his messy hair.

"I love you, too, Frank. Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up," I told him, getting a small hum in response. Once I was sure he was in a deep sleep (he has a small snore), I got up and called a nurse to tell me the details of his condition.

"When can I take him home?" I asked the doctor. She was a woman, maybe in her 40's. She had kind eyes, but years of the stress that comes with being a doctor was evident on her face.

"Mr. Way, are you his relative?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No."

"I'm afraid I can't discuss his condition with you. Do you have any way to contact his parents or guardian?" There was no way in fucking hell I was calling those monsters.

"I'm afraid he and his parents don't have the best relationship. I'm one of his teachers from his old school. I've been watching over him for a few months," I explained.

"I understand. But I still need to contact his parents. I'll need to talk to Frank whenever he wakes up." She was tough, but Frank wasn't going to comply with her request. I gave her a small smirk.

"Have you met Frank, doctor?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Not personally." I gave a small laugh.

"Oh, you're going to have a lot of fun getting his parents contact information," I laughed. I waved to her and returned to Frank's side. With the doctor knowing I was his old teacher, I became more cautious and decided to sit in the chair next to his bedside, keeping my hands to myself no matter how much I wanted to touch him. I stared at his face and thought over the words he'd only told me five minutes. He was almost giving me an ultimatum. Either help him achieve his happiness or he'll achieve it without me, and he wanted me to help him. He wanted me to want to help him, and after my conversation with Lindsey, I wanted to help him. I wanted to be with him, not Ray. Although he was really nice and treated me very well, he wasn't Frank. And I wasn't going to try and change him. I kicked my feet up on the edge of Frank's bed, and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. I stared at the white ceiling and sighed, watching the shine of the sunset coming in through the window shades. It looked like something I wanted to paint. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of it, pocketing my phone once again after.