“you want them when they don't want you. soon as they do feelings change.”
-
dan
"is you,"
i almost dropped my phone.
i heard phil groan in annoyance before hanging up, i didn't do anything to stop him considering i was still in shock, all that time i spent obsessing over phil and now that i have a boyfriend he likes me?
i realise he's probably on the other end of the line crying, like i was when phil told me he had a girlfriend.
dan: phil
dan: phiL
dan: answer your phone phil
dan: phil please
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i paced back and forth, ringing him multiple times even though it was almost guaranteed that he wouldn't answer. every time i would call him, it would go to voicemail.
dan: phil, look. you're probably crying right now but
dan: i've been through that. when you said you had a girlfriend, i fell apart. but atleast i kept talking to you, it was hard, but i couldn't stop talking to you ever phil.
dan: please
dan: phil, i can't go without talking to you and i know you can't either so just please
phil: maybe tomorrow
i set my phone down on the counter as i walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge to get something to drink. matt walked through the hallway, into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing his eyes.
"what's got you so freaked out?" he said, coming over and putting his hand around my waist, placing a small kiss on my head.
"my f-friend phil, he kinda just confessed his love for me and now he won't answer me," i said, putting my free hand on my forehead, my other hand holding my water.
"oh, man. you know, it's kind of funny how, you liked him and now—"
"yeah, i know matt," he rustled my hair and gave me a hug.
"come on, go take a shower and then come to bed. it's late, you can try talking to him in the morning," he tilted my head, so we were looking into each others eyes, "i love you,"
"i love you too, matt," he kissed me, and i couldn't help but feel guilty because, i know if phil saw this, it would break his heart even more.
but i still took my shower, and got in bed with matt. phil would kill to be in matt's place right now, i know. because i was the same way with phil and his girlfriend. it seems like whenever one of us gets into a relationship, the other starts having feelings for them.
fucking love man.
--
i don't know what i'm doing.
