I Can't Let You Go Back

Chapter 17

Not edited, sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.

Chapter 17

Kaylie's POV

Ian. That's all that's in my thoughts. I think about him so much, everyday. All my thoughts are occupied by him. His face, eyes, lips, smile, even his smirk.

Ian. Thats all that runs through my mind. It's very frustrating how he can consume all my thinking. The thought of him alone, brings a smile to my face. Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about him, about us. What it would be like to be in his arms all the time, to have him whisper sweet words to me, to have him kiss me...

I know, I know I have a boyfriend. But Chase cannot begin to compare to Ian. It sounds cruel? It's true though. I would always pick Ian over Chase, any day. Don't get me wrong, Chase is awesome on his own. Ian beats Chase in both looks and charm. I know Ian is a player but I don't care. My body doesn't care, it still reacts to every little touch from Ian. It's like my body craves Ian like an alcoholic craves the bottom of the bottle.

I'm falling for him hard and fast.

Oh.

I'm falling for Ian. Oh my gosh that's not good. I can't fall for anyone, it won't work.

'You don't know that, if you don't try,' a voice in my head whispers.

I know that, but I don't want to try. It would never work out. Someone like him would never love me back. Therefore there's no point in even falling for him. He's too out of my league. I know it sounds cliche, but it's the honest truth. I have low self-esteem anyways. I have this believe that I'll never be good enough for anyone. I have plain looks, dark hair, and abnormal eyes. I always thought having hetero-chromia iridium was weird. Having one blue and one green eye is abnormal. There are not that many cases like it, but it happens, shit happens.

Although Ian told me I have beautiful eyes. Probably said it because he wants to get in my pants. But then again why would he want to get in my pants? I remember when he told me about werewolves and how his family and most of the community are all one. I was already shocked as fuck when I saw Nick and Chase transform, so it made it easier to listen to Ian's explanation since I had already seen it firsthand. It's still shocking that werewolves exist, all my life I thought it was all myth. But it turns out to be so fucking real. Gosh, I wanted so bad to see Ian's wolf. I know it will be so beautiful. He's so attractive, with those gorgeous emerald orbs. Staring at him, at that lake he took me to, I thought I was looking in the eyes of the most attractive man to grace the earth. I'm being genuinely serious. And then as he went on to explain shifters and some interesting things pertaining to being a shifter, I couldn't help but be much more interested. His voice is so fucking captivating:

Especially when he explained the concept of mates. I knew there was something else to mates, when I had asked Nick about it, the evening Chase had barged into my room.

I recall asking Ian if he has a mate.

"Yes," he had answered at the lake, voice full of emotion; love and care.

I was crushed. I was jealous. I couldn't believe he has a mate waiting for him, while I sat fascinated by his beauty, ogling him. The idea of Ian having a mate that isn't myself makes me angry, it makes the green eyed monster in me surface.

Luck was obviously not on my side. How I had wished, with that tiny ember of hope in me, that I would end up as his mate. But, I'm human and he's not. Maybe a human will be a drawback for a powerful male wolf, who happens to be the leader, the alpha.

Gah! I had really hoped he would tell me who she was but his father had interrupted. Although he did promise to tell me soon.

Strewth! This is so frustrating. I have a boyfriend but I want someone else. I mean I like my boyfriend a lot, but I like Ian too. I'm getting a headache thinking about all this. I shouldn't even have to think of boys, I'll be gone soon anyways.

Right. I will be gone soon, and I'll forget all this.

I'm not so sure though. I guess time will tell.

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Not much in this chapter, just wanted to upload something. And besides I haven't written in Kaylie's POV in a while.

AP exams are over!!!! And senior exams next week. My last day of high-school is May 25th, just a couple more days away. Then finally graduation is June 5th! Ahhh! I'm so excited to be done. After that I can update more often, hopefully.

Next upload will be very soon since this one isn't much and I've already started writing it.

Good night! It's 11:03pm right now.