High School AU
For years now, Dan and his friends haven't let Phil be. He's bullied and tired of it, but he can't make them stop.
But he stumbles upon Dan's tumblr one day and decides to get back on him, only it's behind the safe walls of anony...
Dan hadn't really wanted to go out last night and he regretted drinking so much. He always drank too much, why? Did he want to end up like his mom or did he have a death wish maybe? Drinking himself to death? His answer to the latter thought kind of scared him for how appealing it was sounding to him. Wow, can I be more pathetic? Just a suicidal, sad fucker.
But he kept thinking of it, nagging him throughout the day. To whom would it matter if he was gone?
Nobody, you will be missed by nobody, an evil voice laughed at him in his mind. Alex would miss him, he was his brother after all, he tried to reason.
But the voice kept arguing, Alex doesn't need you, not as you need him. You're only keeping him down. He'll leave as soon as he can. Nodding to himself, he sat down on the floor, leaning on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He felt tears prickling his eyes, he couldn't care about it now. He knew he was a crying, pathetic loser. Who was he trying to fool?
The bullies at my other school knew it. It was only a matter of time before my friends find out too. His breathing became irregular, he felt himself struggling to breathe again and he felt so dizzy.
Dan pulled at his shirt by the neck, he couldn't breathe and the panic crept around his throat, choking him.
Why am I not dead already? I should be.
His lungs and airways hurted. His eyesight blurred. Out of tears, probably.
I was a mistake. Mom didn't want me. My dad didn't want me. Even my stepdad didn't. Alex don't.
He felt his eyelids fall, closing out the world and he was welcoming the darkness.
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It felt all too soon when he slowly opened his eyes, staring up into the faint light of his lamp in his room. Was he in heaven? Considering his environment, hell was more likely. Hell or reality, it was so similar nowadays.
He stared at the lamp for another minute before he heard the front door slam closed downstairs, telling him someone came home. Whoever it was, he didn't feel like being walked in on as he layed down on his floor, looking pale and sweaty from fainting. Fainting. Yeah, he fainted from another panic attack. Pathetic. He sat up, and got onto his feet and grabbed his phone. No new messages. Why did he even think there'd have been any in the first place?
Some quick feet walked upstairs, he heard, and then a knock on his door. "Come in"
Alex opened his door and stepped inside, rosy cheeks from just been outside. He walked over to Dan's bed and lied down, hummed a little.
"Did you want something or..?" Dan wondered, as his brother hadn't said something yet.
"Not really," Alex grinned, "have you even gone outside today? I didn't even hear you come home last night, it must've been late." Dan frowned slightly upon Alex's sudden cheery, talkative self, he hadn't really talked much to him lately and he wondered why he did all of a sudden. He shrugged.
"I like my cave, okay? And yeah, it probably got a bit late yesterday. Where have you been then?"
"Just been at the mall. And library too." Alex fiddled with the end of Dan's checkered, monochrome blankets.
"I should've known you were such a nerd. No one goes to library nowadays, have you ever heard of something called wikipedia?" Dan chuckled.
"Oi, it's a good place if you need to concentrate, alright!" Alex protested and threw Dan's pillow at Dan.
"Like you even need to study, smarty arse" Dan chuckled fondly, knowing his brother was a school genious, something that Dan was proud for, having such a smart brother.
"Yeah, to keep being smart, I have to" Alex responded truthfully, yet smug.
"Note taken. Did you have fun with your books then?" Dan teased, happy having back his usual cheery brother, making him feel he was loved.
"It was. Oh, speaking of, I met your mate Phil, he said he knew you." Alex smiled, but Dan froze.
"..Oh."
"He said he wanted to be your friend. I mean, come on, let's be real, "Alex continued, not really acknowledging Dan's reaction to Phil's name, " your current friends are idiots. And speaking to Phil, he seemed really nice!"
Dan didn't know what to reply to that. "He..said that?" No, why would Phil ever say that. Coming to think about it, Dan didn't deserve a friend like Phil, not after what he'd done to him anyway.
"Yeah, basically."
"I doubt that, though" Dan muttered.
"Oh Danny, don't think so low of yourself. Please go talk to him, tomorrow at school? Give it a chance, for me?" Alex pleaded, seemingly concerned for him. Dan dragged his hand over his face, hesitating to accept.
"Ugh, alright, I will try." he finally gave in and sighed, because, how the hell would that go down? Phil was kind enough to not punch him in the face, for all the things Dan had done to him. Asking to be his friend after all that? God - he already regretted this.
"Thank you," Alex smiled happily, "I really think you could use a good friend, Dan. I've noticed you've been rather down lately."
"That's thoughtful of you, Alex" Dan smiled, he didn't know his brother had cared about that, but was thankful for it.
Then Alex stood up and walked over to Dan and wrapped his arms around him in a warm hug. Dan happily hugged back, enjoying it to the fullest, as he didn't know how long he had to wait until next time.
