Darkshines

Chapter Twenty

A/N: sorry for slow update, i have kind of a hard time writing rn. hope you'll enjoy this!<3 /Julia

Dan's POV

It had been on Dan's mind the entire day, and half into the night aswell, he couldn't sleep since both excitement and worry had occupied his mind. Excitement, because he finally got the chance for a real friend (yes, Alex was right about his other "friends", assholes the whole bunch of them).

Worry, because he knew he'd fuck up this chance. He always fucked up the good things in his life. Also, what if Phil decided he didn't want to deal with such a fuck up like him, because he wasn't worth it. He was treading on thin ice, and Phil could withdraw his friendship anytime. Yeah, the whole situation where Dan actually had been given a chance was miraculous but his chances to keep it were small.

Was it worth getting his hopes up? Because if he failed, he knew he'd be lonelier than ever before. He'd already risked his "friends" by defending Phil, he wasn't sure if they'd take him back after that, if he fucked up with befriending Phil.

It was morning of the following day now, pitch black outside his window and he just lied in his bed, waiting for his phone alarm to go off at 7am, since falling asleep wasn't working. Outside, the wind was howling and rain pelting on his window like sharp needles.

He remembered many years back when they were younger, Alex was afraid of the strong wind outside when they had went to sleep. These nights, he could hear tiptoeing, small creaking noises of the wooden floor as his little brother made it into his room and slipped into Dan's bed, crawling close to Dan's warm body for comfort and protection.

"Will the windows blow open, Dan?" Alex had asked with small voice, his small arms hugging the older boy.

"No, they won't, bear. There's no danger." Dan had reassured him, and hugged back tightly and protective.

"Will the roof tear away and let the wind take us away? What if the wind take us away and we will never find our way back home? What if I lose you ?" Alex had continued to ask, his face was barely visible in the darkness but Dan had been able to make out his tearstained cheeks.

"That won't happen, I promise, bear" Dan had said and stroked his thumb over Alex's cheeks to remove the tears. "The roof won't tear off. And if we would be blown away, I'd never let go of you. I will always stay here with you, Alex. "

"Okay, Dan." Alex had sniffled and nuzzled his face into the crook of Dan's neck, and Dan had just petted his back comfortingly, stroked his hand up and down his back until the sniffles was replaced with deep breaths and his relaxed, small body in Dan's arms.

Dan missed those moments with Alex nowadays. It'd been many years since the last time he'd been seeking comfort from Dan at night but still he remembers the warm and safe feeling of having someone close to him when going to sleep, and sleeping alone would never ever beat that. In fact, it was much worse and his lonely self just used the emptiness of his mind to be filled with anxiety and overthinking, leaving him awake long into the wee hours.

Dan finally felt his eyes starting to weighing down and himself drifting off into dream world. But wasn't the world just against him, as it was in that moment his phone started to vibrate on his night side table and the room illuminated by the light of his phone's bright screen. He turned it off and made his way up from his warm bed with a sigh, and went shivering over to the bathroom to get ready for another day at school.

Twenty minutes later, he was dressed and ready to leave, so he opened the door and the weather hadn't improved ever so much as he was met by an icy wind spiked with sharp rain against his face. He walked the small distance to the spot by the road where Jack picks him up in the mornings to give him a ride to school. Already soaked, he sat down on the bench under a tree and held his arms tightly wrapped around himself.
Dan waited a quarter, wondering where the heck Jack was with his warm, red car. Maybe something had happened? He decided to text him.