365 Days

365 Days (Chapter 1 - Day 0)

I sat there, patiently waiting for him. He told me to come meet me at the coffee place we usually go to, he was going to tell me something very important. 9 years with him, was indeed a long time - could he actually be proposing perhaps?

"Get a hold of yourself Sophie" I told myself as I started to fidget with my fingers, I could not actually get myself to forget what I just thought. "Oh stupid me!"

"I'm almost there" Nathan said in his text. I fixed my hair as i excitedly waited for him.

The doors opens and the light came streaming that I felt like an angel just came in. It was Nathan, with his signature crisp white shirt that made him look so dashing and handsome, it simply made my heart skip a beat.

"Hey" he said, I stood up to kiss him, but I missed. Maybe he did not read my body language, I did not mind - he wasn't really a big fan of PDA's anyways.

"How was work babe?" I asked him. I noticed he was on his phone and seemed to be texting someone with his eye brows burrowed as if he was with an argument with whoever he is talking to. It must have been his boss, it's been a couple of months that we barely saw each other and went on a date - he was always so busy because he was up for a promotion. I was always very supportive when it comes to his job, I know it has always been his goal to reach the director position before he even reaches 30 years old.

"How was work babe?" I asked again. He seemed startled and looked at me, and quickly hid his phone.

"Sorry, it was about the shipment that was due for next week, seems like the good are stuck in China; we're still waiting for an update from our liaison there." He replied.

"Oh, is that so. I hope your shipment gets shipped as planned." I said and took a sip of coffee. "So, why did you call me here?" I asked.

"Sophie, I need to tell you something really important." He said, I could hear the seriousness in his voice.

"Okay, here it is... here's his ultimate question. But why in the middle of the day? could he not be at least a little bit sweet?" I thought to myself. "What is is babe?" I sweetly asked, as I reached out for his had to hold it, which he coldly rejected.

"I know we've been together for 9 wonderful years. The journey I had with you is certainly one of a kind. I have loved you since we were young."

"I love you too baby."

"But, sometimes life takes a turn. We make decisions we have to make - not because people will dictate to us, but simply because our heart says something else. I do not mean to hurt you, but we have to break up."

What he said got me taken aback, I did not know what to say or how to react. Did I actually hear him right? Did he really want to break up with me?

"What do you mean? I do not understand. You want to break up with me? Are you really breaking up with me?" I asked as tears suddenly flooded my eyes.

"Sophie, I hope you understand... I do not mean to hurt you, but my heart is not in this relationship anymore. The love I felt for you before is not as strong as I do now. I do not want us to settle just because we have been together for the longest time - we need to grow, but separately." He said, he tried to reach for my hand, but I couldn't just let him touch me after what he had said.

"Is there another woman? Are you in love with someone else?" I calmly asked him as tears kept on streaming down my face. Some people from other tables are starting to look at us, but I was never the type to actually make a scene - I kept my voice low and calm despite the tears, despite the burning desire to scream at him right at this moment.

"Even if I tell you there is no other girl involved, you would not believe me. But there is no one involved. Being in this relationship is not the right one for me at this time - my heart is not in it anymore. I want to put my energy in my career first."

At this point I could no longer stop crying. "Do you want me to take you home Sophie? Before I go back to the office I can drop you by at home." He said.

"Nathan, can we talk about this again? I mean can you think things over, maybe your decision will change tomorrow? Perhaps you can re-evaluate this, can we at least negotiate on this.." I begged him to think it over, we can't just throw away the 8 years we have been together. That is 9 years, he's practically like a part of me. What will I be without him beside me.

"This is not a business transaction that can be negotiated. Come on let me take you home" He insisted. I refused.

"No, just leave me here. If you need to go then just go." I said.

His phone rang, it must be his office "Okay Sir, yes Sir.. I'm on my way." He said to the person on the other line. "If you really don't want me to take you home, then I must go now, the office needs me." He tried to kiss me on the forehead but I deliberately shunned it.

I looked at him as he walked away, the ray of sunlight that he brought earlier seemed to be a dark grey sky that followed me everywhere I go. Was I that pitiful? Was there something wrong with me? Was i not good enough for him? There were too many question left unanswered, there were too many things left unsaid. How do you move on from such a devastating blow - 9 long years, it was almost half my life.

I walked aimlessly, not knowing where I was actually headed, or what I was really thinking at the moment. "Did that just really happen?" that was all I could think of. "Maybe tomorrow he'll get to his senses and would want me back" I positively told myself, and deep inside hope for it so badly.

A day passed, I still did not receive a call from him. That day turned into a week, then a month, then before you know it 3 months have already passed. I still could not get him off of my mind. Every now and then I still sent him messages like "I miss you. I still love you. Please come back to me." My friends said that I am as desperate as any girl can get - but, I was never really ashamed of it in any way. That was what I felt, it was what I wanted to say to him.

"You're not even sure if he's actually reading the messages that you sent." Janine told me.

"Please don't burst my bubble. He'll eventually come to his senses, I'm just giving him the hint that I still clearly want him back."

"You are indeed giving him the hint, but the question is does he still want YOU back?" her question stunned me, left me in awe that I could no longer retort.

"It's not that I am hurting you with what I am saying Sophie, it's just that I am concerned. You have been cooped up in this room of yours for months now, and you still have not gotten over Nathan yet. It's clear that he does not want you back at all. You have to help yourself, and go back to the outside world." What she said was not wrong, but I just couldn't accept the fact that I am wrong, that the possibility of Nathan and I really breaking up is just too much for me to handle.

"You know what, to keep yourself from your pent-up emotions, why don't you write down whatever you are feeling." She suggested.

"Yeah, I can do that and send the letters to Nathan." I excitedly said.

"Oh my goodness Sophie, you know what do whatever you want to do. There is no saving you from this obsession anymore." Janine said with a sigh.

That night I did decide to send a letter to Nate, it took me 10 drafts just to let him know what i really felt. Then my facebook notification lit up. The notification read "Nate changed his profile picture" I clicked on it and was shocked to see what I saw, it was Nate with a girl and the caption read "The girl who stole my heart."

I heard my heart break into a million pieces again, it barely even withstood from breaking 3 months ago. How could be have done this to me - I thought he said there was no other girl. But here in front of me, a picture of him and her - the saddest part is, I haven't really seen him this happy when he was with me.