Chapter 8 - Day 125

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A couple of days ago I met a man, his name is Nate. Such a small world we have, because he seemed to know you. I never had the chance to ask him how you two know each other. Something about what he said has stuck in me for days.

He called me Nathan's Sophie. I never thought I'd missed to be called that way. I was Nathan's Sophie, but now I'm just Sophie's Sophie. 

It has been 125 days that I haven't heard from you. This silence at times seemed so deafening. You even blocked me on your phone, even on your facebook account. I know I seem to be so pathetic to still be so caught up on you. What am I supposed to do? I hate myself for feeling this way. Even if I clearly know you do not want me the way I want you. 

Is life supposed to be this painful? I'd rather die than to live each day as if I am dying. 

I want to get over you. I want my life to continue, without you in it. 

How could you get over me so fast? And I could barely even breathe thinking about you with another woman. 

I wish I had a different way of loving, I wish I had a different mind, I wish I had a different heart - the one that can easily change if I will it to be. I wish I was more like you, and less like me - that way I can easily let go and be free. 


Sophie

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