I called in sick to work today. I went yesterday, but everything's just getting harder to handle. When I wake up, it's like gravity won't let me stand. I feel sick all the time, but it's probably my lack of eating and my tremendous sleeping.
Steve came over after his shift to check on me. I'd only give him short responses, but he was still nice to me. He would tell me about how his day was and if any cute girls came to see him or me. He told me these girls were starting to miss me and that maybe I should give them a chance and try to move on.
"I can't do it, Stevie. No matter what I try, I'm never going to stop loving him."
When Steve opened my door to leave, Pony was holding up his hand to knock on it. I could feel their tension all the way from my bed, but I didn't say anything. When Steve left, Pony walked in and sat on the end of my bed by my feet.
"I know you're not feeling good today... but can I lay down with you for a while? I'm not feeling good either and I just want to be with you..."
I don't know why I said yes to him. But when I did, I shifted back and he laid down in front of me. Instinctively, like I used to always do before I moved out of his room, I wrapped my arm around him and held him close. Except this time, I held him by the waist. As I fell asleep, I could have sworn he was crying.
I don't know why I do this to myself. I'm spiraling out of control.
~Sodapop Curtis~
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Journal Entries
FanfictionHere we have the journal of a young, almost seventeen-year-old boy who can't cope with his feelings of being in love with his younger brother. Sodapop confides in his friends, and yet, he can't seem to find the comfort or will to stay alive, not eve...
