Journal Entries

January 19, 1968

I had the best night of my life last night.

Pony had asked me to move back into his room with him. I was compliant and didn't object or argue despite my thoughts telling me 'no'. Just because he knew how I felt didn't mean I'd have to start warming back up to him. I guessed it was just to keep an even closer eye on me.

Darry didn't think it was the best idea, though, for the reason that it was because of my feelings for him. I was hurt because he knew I wouldn't try anything with Pony, but still, I understood. I told Darry I wouldn't sleep in Pony's room.

Soon enough, he went to bed. I could see that Pony was upset with both me and Darry, he sat on the opposite end of the couch when I sat down, and was just pouting. When I noticed him start to look at me, I grinned at him.

"There ain't a reason to be mad, Pony."

"You told Darry-"

"You can sleep in my room with me."

The way his eyes lit up made me feel so good. Seeing him happy, especially because of me, made me happy, too.

We went to bed soon after that. I did what I used to do and turned my back to him, but when I did, he was cuddling up behind me and wrapping his arms around me. I didn't expect it- I should have, but I didn't. My breathing picked up a little but he nuzzled the back of my neck.

"It's okay, Soda..."

Before I could stop myself, I acted on impulse and turned around so I could hold him. For the first time in months I finally got to hold him. It felt so good I wanted to cry, but he was beating me to the punch.

"Don't cry, Pony..."

"I missed you so much..."

My heart hurt when he said that. I wanted to cry, but I didn't, I didn't want to make him feel worse. I took a deep breath and made him look up at me, but he did the rest of the work. He kissed me.

I did end up tearing up after that. I had the best night of sleep last night.

~Sodapop Curtis~