The Idiotic Villainess

Starting School

Inside the unnaturally large office, students were milling around in groups talking to each other. Some were in line waiting to get their schedule(with their friends) while others seemed to be waiting for their friends to arrive.

Damn you nobles with social lives! Why is it the same in this life, with me not having a social life? I'm trying, you know!

I waited in the steadily-growing line for my schedule with Mary and Doggo, Mary now holding Doggo since it wrecked the bag. I glanced around for any signs of the capture targets or heroine but saw none. At this point, I can't remember whether the heroine transferred mid-year or got in from the start because of my horrendous memory. 'So this is why all those reincarnated villainesses wrote down what they remember...ohhh...'

After confirming that my possible death-flags weren't here, I awkwardly stood alongside Mary and Doggo. I wonder if school was going to be more fun here? I mean, besides having no friends...a below average IQ....and....yeah, this isn't going too well, is it?

An unnaturally beautiful lady who was sitting behind the counter coughed, her existence only serving to make me feel under the other nobles and staff here. I looked up at her to see that I was the only one in line left with Mary by my side, watching as Doggo terrorized the pamphlets that cost more than my old house.

I quickly moved to the counter, the woman scrutinizing the way I looked to the way I nervously smiled as she asked for my name. "U-um...my name? My n-name is..." I blanked. The first person I have talked to outside of my maids, family, and tutors, and I blank.

I quickly glance at anything but the woman's eyes that say "I-don't-have-time-for-your-crap" and see Doggo. "My n-name is......D-dog...err, I-"

With one raised, perfectly sculpted eyebrow, she interrupts me by asking, "Your name is...Dogger?"

"Err..Yes? I mean, no! No, my name is..is...keyboard!"

She stared at me as if I was a roach. Long and hard, as if she was considering actually pouring bleach on me and then throwing me into the garbage bin. She then turned towards the magic-powered computer sitting beside her on the countertop and typed in 'keyboard.' My last name came up even though 'keyboard' looked nothing like 'qwerty'.

Haha, very funny. I still have more of a life than you, author.

The woman then started looking through the filing cabinets located behind her and pulled a wrinkly paper out. She handed it to me and said, "I hope you have a good school-year, Miss Keyb- Qwerty." My name is just one whole joke that I'll have to live with my entire life. Woe is me.

I glanced down at my schedule to see if I got anything that sounded remotely fun.

[Qwerty, Minx]

//Homeroom
//Arithmetic
//Specialized Magic Class
//Lunch
//History
//Study Hall: No chosen elective
//Study Hall: No chosen elective

Study Hall was the only thing that sounded fun, mostly because I get to sneak out of school early or hang out in the library like the loner I am. The only thing that could possibly kill me was Specialized Magic Class. It had the most chance of me meeting those death-traps, but everything else was fine. Except for Arithmetic. Arithmetic, for me, is like fighting someone with my spaghetti arms and legs. I won't win in the end and I'll get hit in the face more than once. I'm not even kidding. My math tutor has thrown math books at me, saying that I'll have to experience it to be able to solve the problem. My parents have terrible taste in selecting my tutors.

The attendant at the counter then tossed me a key with numbers delicately engraved on it. "Your room number is 948-728-1800." My room key looks suspiciously like a phone number, but I ignored it and thanked her.

I turned towards Mary to tell her we could go, but she wasn't there. What I saw instead was a mess of chewed up pamphlets, Doggo sleeping on a nest of pamphlets, and Mary reading what was once part of the school pamphlet. I looked to see if anyone noticed the mess and, miraculously, no one did. Actually, the only ones left in the office were me, Mary, Doggo, and the attendant.

I was about to ask where everybody had gone, but the attendant was already speaking to another group of students. This was basically how their conversation went:

"We need schedules. Now," the blonde kid demanded.

"You're late. The bell rung 37 seconds ago."

"Our names are Henri Hamilton, Oliver Allen, Valentino Staccato, and Quincy Dumbledore. I believe we were supposed to receive our schedules at the office?"

And from that sentence alone, the attendant went pale and immediately started searching for their schedules. Jeez, these nobles have ego equivalent to their wealth. They must be pretty high up if they can make the attendant go pale and their names do sound fairly familiar...

The attendant hastily handed them their schedules and also handed them their keys. "Y-you won't tell your parents about this, yeah? We got on the wrong foot, but-"

The blonde kid, who looked a lot like a Pikachu, stopped her with the wave of his hand while also saying in the most 'innocent' voice, "Oh, don't worry about that. We'll make sure our parents won't hear of this." He then smiled brightly at her. The attendant seemed to be paler than a vampire now.

All 4 of them then proceeded to start walking out but stopped at the mess of pamphlets and dog fur. At this time, I was just staring at both them and the mess, standing still as if that would make them not notice me. The blonde one, whom I recognized as both the leader and shortest one there, looked around the room and saw Mary, me, and Doggo.

He approached Mary while the other three looked to be fascinated with the strange, white dog that was currently smoking something from a rolled up pamphlet. The shorty marched up to Mary and asked her, "Were you the one who made this mess? Moreover, why aren't you cleaning it? Aren't you a maid?" He had said it in a voice that was much like how a mother would ask a child, "Did you break the vase?"

Mary looked up from the pamphlet and looked at the shorty in front of her. She responded by pointing at the cocaine-smoking dog and saying, "I only serve the Miss." He looked from her to the dog with the confused face of a child trying to understand the bees and the birds. "Wait. You serve the dog?"

Mary looked to be slightly offended by his comment. "Are you saying that my mistress is a dog? I'll have you know that mistress is one of the four duke's daughter, so you should respect her like a duchess!" The boy looked even more confused. "The daughter of a duke....is a dog?"

And at this point, I knew I should start planning my route on how to get out of this office. The 3 boys that were watching Doggo smoke cocaine were now waiting for the blonde boy by the hallway. They had apparently not noticed me yet.

I swiftly grabbed Doggo and put him inside of my uniform that I was forced to wear. He whined when I took his coke away, but he was too high to bark. The plan was going great so far.

I hesitantly made a few steps toward the door opposite of the door that the 3 were standing by. Mary would come find me later, what was of importance now was escaping. And as I thought that, I stepped on a ripped up pamphlet which made a loud crinkling noise.

Everyone stared at me, right then and there. The attendant was already gone, probably packing her bags to move to a new country under a new name and Mary had gone with the wind and was nowhere to be seen. And at this exact moment, a realization came to me.

'I'm fucked. My own personal death-flags are here.'

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I'm alive, after several days of hibernating under various blankets. Also, happy early Halloween!

My inspiration for this chapter comes from comments and the fact that I have a math test tomorrow but I'm not studying for it.

*3*