The Idiotic Villainess

Karma

  'Shit. What do I do?'

  I was frozen in place as they all stared at me. The blonde kid, which I now remembered as Oliver Allen, looked back over his shoulder to see that Mary was no longer there, and the other three kids looked like they had just found something fun to play with after standing near the door for the last 17 minutes. Least to say, my first impressions of them aren't too great right now.

'Think, you stupid brain!'

 I probably looked paler than that one vampire from Twilight because the kid with smurf-colored hair, also known as Dumb Door, asked, "Miss, are you ok? You look a little...er, pale." 

"Uh-" Excessive thinking in the morning makes me feel like I have a terrible migraine, it also makes me feel like every morning is Monday. See? This is why adults drink that horrid black coffee, children. And after staying still like a statue and staring at the mess Doggo had made for what felt like an hour, I responded with whatever came to mind first.

  "-[BrAin iS cuRreNtly exPerieNcing techNical diffiCulTies, p-please $taNd b-by]!" The trio looked confused and one looked like he was also on the verge of laughter. Oh god. It's like socializing all over again. Except, now I'm running away from a Dumb Door, Brownie, Eggplant, and Shorty. Their names are too complicated for me to remember, so accurate descriptions of them as nicknames are easier.

 I put on a very weird smile that probably made me look like I was constipated and got in position to run to the door. Yep. This was my plan, to run. Call me a coward, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. 'That eggplant looks like he can run faster than me, though. I need a distraction..' And as I thought that, Doggo started moving around in my uniform. Who needs to think when convenient things happen? 

 The Shorty was now looking at me as if I was the cause of the mess on the floor, no longer taking interest in the ninja maid, and the other three looked extremely interested in me. No, not in the love interest way, but the 'Hey-this-person-looks-funny-let's-make-them-our-torture/stress-doll' kind of way. It's now or never. Who knows how they'll torture me if I get caught? I've already heard enough screams from our family's torture chamber to last...more than both of my lifetimes.

 'Time to execute my very unreliable plan!' I let Doggo out of my shirt and...

..threw him at Eggplant, it's cigarette and all. I think I threw it too hard because it knocked down Eggplant, or Valentino Staccato if you want to be polite, like a bowling pin. Either that or he's just a lot weaker than I thought he was. Everyone stared at Eggplant who was lying on the floor with Doggo smoking some unknown drug that he probably nabbed off of Father before we left(Um, this book does not condone letting your dog smoke...cough). I used this as my chance to run to the door. I felt slightly bad for both Doggo and Eggplant, but they were what you would call "an honorable sacrifice."

 But just as I almost reached the door, I tripped on a pamphlet and fell face-first. 

'Snicker-doodles!' Is this what karma is? Because I feel like crying right now.

 I hastily got up and, while holding my now bleeding nose, grabbed the doorknob that looked like it would cost more than my student loans. I turned it and it opened.

...Right into someone's face. 'For fuc-'

The person standing in front of me groaned and held their nose. 'Oh Shih Tzu. Did I just break their nose? Are they gonna sue my family now? Welp gotta go fast now!'

I quickly apologized to her and ran all the way to the biggest building I could see. I heard shouting from behind me but all that did was make me run faster. 

On the way there, I ran into 2 students(which I apologized to), 1 teacher(which I also apologized to), and stepped on 17 flower beds(which I did not apologize for). All on my first day. Aren't I the best student on the entire planet?

Finally, after many obstacles, I was in front of what looked like the auditorium. I looked around for any signs to indicate where I was and found only 4.

 "North is that way, West is that way, East is that way, and South is that way. How is that going to help me?" I yelled to no one in particular. 

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "Uh, miss? Are you a new student here?"

I turned around and was greeted with the sight of a...female? No, wait. They look more like a male if you look at them from an angle..hmm..

As I examined the 'it' from all angles, they fidgeted in one spot nervously. "U-um..miss? Do you need directions to the assembly?" Oh. Oops. Poor kid, I probably looked really weird and a pervert.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. By the way, are you a boy or girl?"

"I'm a boy," 'they' said. He looked to be slightly irritated as he puffed his cheeks out. "And the assembly is over there." He pointed to the building right next to the office I was just in. 

'Oh god. I have to run all the way over there again.'

I squinted in annoyance and thanked him. "Thanks, er-"

"Dakota. Dakota North." 

"Right. ¡Gracias, Senor Dakota!"

He looked momentarily confused but managed to say "You're welcome" before I ran off. It was at this time that our main character remembered that Spanish doesn't exist here.

"Doh!" She said as she slapped her forehead. "I'm an idiot."

She ran off to the assembly while running over another 12 flower beds and 3 ant colonies. But when she finally reached the red doors of the assembly-meeting-place-thingy, she opened it only to find that no one was there and only now did the sound of the bell ringing for the last 47 seconds register to her ears.

"Crap! Did they start roll call yet? I can still make it!" And as she said that, she started to run. Completely forgetting about the Dumb Door, Eggplant, Shorty, Brownie, Doggo, Mary, and everything else. 

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I felt like this chapter was terrible. Actually, that's how I feel about all of my chapters! Ha ha...

A writer's worst enemy is writer's block, procrastination, and...falling asleep in the middle of writing a chapter. That is why I wrote this in just about an hour with lots of caffeine, then fell asleep only to find that I only wrote half of my story tomorrow morning.

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