Wildflower || j.jungkook

Day 36; khr

It's a Tuesday. I have work today, but I really don't want to go. My chest hurts. My heart hurts. Everything hurts. My head. My cheeks. My eyes. My face is stained with dried tears as I stand behind the sink, water flowing out of the faucet as I splashed some on my face.

After cleaning myself up, I grabbed my uniform and stuffed it in my bag. My eyes were red from crying, my heart was heavy. I was dreading work. I'm never like this. I loved my job, honestly. Even though it was oftentimes hectic during my shift, seeing customers leave happy always left a smile on my face.

But today, today I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to stay home, hug all my six remaining dogs tightly and stuff my face with ice cream and eat my feelings out. But of course, that wasn't an option. I had things to pay for, living expenses of a person and six dogs, previously seven. I wonder how Bokshiri is doing. I miss her, and I hope her new family is treating her well.

I heaved a heavy sigh as I walked to Fleur Cafe. I didn't trust myself to drive. As I trudged into the employee room, Mina spotted me, a loud gasp emitting from her mouth.

"Hyorin! What happened?! You look terrible."

I chuckled softly, "Yeah. Stuff happened since break."

"Clearly," she replied, crossing her arms. "Do you need the day off? I can contact the manager."

I shook my head firmly. As much as I wanted to cop out, I would feel guilty, no doubt. "Nah, I'll be fine. I'm gonna go change. I'll be right back."

I offered a smile and walked to the locker room.

*******

Today...today was filled with a million forced smiles and feigned happiness, because the customers come first in this environment. I can't be a lousy worker because of my personal life.

I sighed once more as I dropped my bag by the door of my room, plopping down on my bed, clutching my phone tightly with Sejun's contact open. Sejun would be furious if I told him about what happened with Jungkook. As much of a dork as he is, he cares deeply about me, and I know that. It's because I was the only real family he felt he had.

Our parents separated when I was entering high school, remember? They fought all the time when I was growing up. We never got along with them, they never got along with each other. The only stable relationship in our household before I left with my mom was Sejun and I. Although mother has become much friendlier and our relationship has improved, Sejun has always been the one I knew best.

Steeling my nerves, I pressed the call button and held my phone up to my ear. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Click.

"Hello?"

I bit my lip. Did I really want to do this?

"Hello? Hyorin?"

Yes. I did.

"Yes, it's me."

"What's wrong?" I could already tell he knew I was upset. He knew I knew too. That's just how we were. "Did something happen? You don't sound happy. You sound...heartbroken-wait. No. He. He hurt you didn't he."

Of course he already knew. He was always quick on catching on. I gulped and nodded, and caught myself as I realized he couldn't see me. "Yeah..." I whispered.

I could practically hear Sejun's jaw clench in anger. "I'm coming back to Korea."

"What?!"

"You heard me. If no one's gonna be there for my little sis, then there's only me."

I heard shuffling in the background and a zipper. "Now?! You're gonna..."

"Yeah. I'm coming as soon as possible."

And then he mumbled something and curse under his breath, a faint "that bastard broke his promise" or whatever. "So," he said. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

My breath hitched as I tried to describe what happened. Words wouldn't come out. Sejun could tell. He always could.

"Ah, I shouldn't ask that over the phone. It's probably hard for you to talk about it now. Tell me when I get to Seoul. Love you, sis. You didn't need him anyways. Bye."

"Bye, Sejun. I miss you. Have a safe flight here," I say as he hangs up.

His last words stung a bit. I know he meant well, but the truth of the matter? I feel like I did need Jungkook in my life. And maybe still do. He waltzed into my life by escaping a blizzard and we became friends. I fell in love. Did he? I guess not.

I realized tears had pooled and fell again. I dropped my phone next to my pillow and flopped down, burying my face into my pillow.

Did you feel nothing when you left me? When you said those harsh words? When you single handedly ruined my life, put my feelings in a jumbled mess, and crushed my heart into tiny smithereens? Would you understand my pain? My tears? My unrequited love?

Love is a confusing thing, I chuckled to myself. One moment it's the best thing you've ever felt, a feeling that you could do anything, the feeling that you're free when you're with them. And then in another moment it could all come tumbling down. An avalanche of feelings and confusion. Or maybe you're tossed into the ocean, your legs and arms unable to move, sinking, and sinking further down.

I can always see the light, I thought, and I once knew it. But I suppose it'll be harder to regain once you've lost it.

**********

A/N: wow this chapter was pretty good surprisingly. It's a bit short of 1000 words (940 or so) but I quite like how it turned out.
also. I have THE ENDING FIGURED OUT !!1!
so therell probably be 3-4 more chapters?? Possibly less but hopefully at least three. So until then, please stick around and wait for my lazy ass to write the next chapter ahah :')