Eventually (Klance)

Chapter Eight // Thank you, Lance

Hi I'm not dead :)

Keiths POV

I sat in my bed that night, cuddled with Lance. I think it was moving too fast for us to cuddle even though we just confessed, but after all Lance had to relive he didn't want to be by himself. I happily obliged.

I couldn't sleep even though Lance had passed out long ago. I kept thinking over what exactly happened when Lance came out of his mind. He was immediately joking around and smiling, and I couldn't help but feel as if it was all fake?

I mean. We could never tell his feelings before, so what's the difference now? He has easily been hiding his pain.

Would I ever be able to tell?

And if I am being honest I am scared. Beyond belief. I am so scared that one day, I will wake up, and Lance will be gone?

My eyes teared up simply at the thought. I have spent too many god damn days pining over this angsty idiot for him to leave me now.

Slim, muscular arms tightened around me and I turned over to look at Lance.

"Heyy...." his voice dripped with sleepiness and it was the cutest thing ever.

"Hey..."

"What's the matter?"

"Are you okay, Lance..?"

"What kind of question is that? I told you I am fine." He chuckled, but stopped when he saw my stern gaze.

"..."

"Are you really okay, Lance?" Lance snuggled closer to me as I got my answer.

"Yes. Well.. no. I'm not okay...."

"Lance I can't help you if I don't understand" I whined.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah.."

And so the explanation began.

"Sometimes. I feel like Atlas.."

"Atlas??"

"In greek mythology, Atlas was punished and was forced to hold up the sky. That's how I feel sometimes. Like it is all on my shoulders. Sometimes it's heavy, but I can hold it up. But other times.."

I felt his arms tighten around me.

"It feels like it is crushing me, and it hURTS... and you know? Sometimes I feel like I am just being overdramatic. Then I feel bad for making it a big deal. When I was umm. C-cutting. I was so scared to ask for help. I felt like if I asked for help I would be told to "stop being a wussy" "grow up" "your an attention whore". And even if they didn't say anything I knew that they would think it. Pity me. I didn't want pity. I STILL don't want pity. I want HELP.."

I pulled him closer to me and whispered in his ear,

"Lancey, I will help you. Please, let me help you.."

"It hurts so fucking much. I would never cry in front of others. Never. But there were times where I would break down and not even know why. I tried to think of reasons for me to be crying, and then everything comes back and-"

He paused for a second, taking deep breathes. I rubbed his back soothingly as he continued.

"And it hurts. It hurts so fucking much I dont know what to do, and you know? Sometimes I like to tell myself that everything will get better. Give it time. Then I think about it and I can't see it....."

"See what?"

"Time.."

"Hmm??"

"I can't think of one day where it will be fine. At first I couldn't see myself in a few years, then I couldn't see myself in next year, then I couldn't see myself in a few months time. Now I can't even see next week. Anything can happen? Can i stay strong for a week?"

He huffed.

"And Keith? I'm tired. I am so tired of it all.."

"..."

"Keith?"

I rolled Lance on his back and layed on top of him. I lay there for a few seconds, searching his eyes, before slowly leaning forward. Our lips met and I lingered for a second before pulling back and laying my head on his chest.

"I love you, Lance. Please try. For me?"

"I'm sorry, Keith, but I can't promise you that. But I will try. For you..."

"Thank you, Lance.."

oof.
This chapter is dedicated to my voltron amino chat bc they are all lit :)) (thats right I said lit, now hush.) Also short chapter? But at least I'm not dead..?